My donut principle

At the end of an Italian exam, my teacher told me the following in his native tongue: "If you feel sad, a little sad, be positive! Think positively because God has given you much talent!" I was surprised at his words and thanked him. Those words couldn’t have come at a better moment.

How did my Italian teacher, whom I only see at the end of the week, know that I had been struggling these days with darkened thoughts and needing to be more positive?

I consider myself a generally positive person and lots of people tell me that is part of who they know me to be. But lately, oh that’s a different story. You know when you find something wrong with nearly everything and everyone around you, except a few blessed souls? When people become irritating beyond what you thought they could be? And even though they’re doing something insignificant it bothers you? Well it had happened a lot in school, and I had been critical for way too long and it was affecting my interactions with people, my mood and my performance. I was annoyed. I told Jesus to help me and I could see myself slowly progressing.

Then my Italian teacher, with his simple encouraging words, reminded me of the donut principle. And that when I focus on the donut and not on the hole…

1. My perspective shifts from the problems to the solutions and possibilities.

2. I find myself doing things with gusto, remembering what they’re for.

3. I’m happier.

4. I’m able to do more in less time or if not, I simply do a much better job!

6. I don’t shy away from difficulties knowing that I have a great God who can help me learn and rise above them!

7. I face challenges head on.

5. I can give my all, and isn’t that what I want? Life is life and it passes away!

And I’m sure there are countless benefits found from looking on the donut and not on the hole!

Jesus, thank you so much for your heavenly reminders and messengers that work as angels on this Earth. Thank you for my Italian teacher, thank you for knowing me so well and never failing to give me just what I need. Thank you so much for Windy, and how her faith-filled attitide while encountering difficulties encourages my faith! Thank you so much for Sandy, who with her set-on-being-positive-no-matter-what attitude inspires me to do the same! Bless her Jesus, she is such a sample to follow! Did you know she is taking charge of a big house, two sisters, her school work as well as countless details that show up? Yes and looking at the donut and not on the hole. It was great seeing you today, ma cherie!

Best friends have a way to shift your perspective from the ground to the dancing sunlight of Jesus’ strong, everlasting love. Thank you so much Jesus!

"Worry about"

In bed I kept thinking: "what if this happens? And then this person does this and the other feels that? No! What did I get into?! Why does this have to be happening?!"

Jesus: There's no need for you to be worrying about that.
I looked startled, thought about it and then asked in a final tone, "Then what should I be worrying about?"
Jesus: Worry that I won't take care of you.
Now I had a confused look. "But what is there to worry about in that?!"
Jesus: Exactly. NOTHING!

There's nothing to worry about.

My smile had grown by the minute and I realized pathetic little me had to stop worrying.
At last!

"Dear restless heart"

I hadn't found a poem that fit my life, feelings and needs so perfectly till now.

Dear restless heart, be still; don’t fret and worry so;
God has a thousand ways His love and help to show;
Just trust, and trust, and trust, until His will you know.

Dear restless heart, be still, for peace is God’s Own smile,
His love can every wrong and sorrow reconcile;
Just love, and love, and love, and calmly wait awhile.

Dear restless heart, be brave; don’t moan and sorrow so,
He has a meaning kind in chilly winds that blow;
Just hope, and hope, and hope, until you braver grow.

Dear restless heart, recline upon His breast this hour,
His grace is strength and life, His love is bloom and flower;
Just rest, and rest, and rest, within His tender power.

Dear restless heart, be still! Don’t struggle to be free;
God’s life is in your life, from Him you may not flee;
Just pray, and pray, and pray, till you have faith to see.

—Edith Willis Linn, “Streams in the Desert”

Looking back

I was thinking back on last year trying to remember what June 2009 was like. I couldn't remember much, but my negative memories had prominence over the positive ones. It made me feel bad because I know good things took place, probably great ones, I just couldn't remember. I know I had happy days along with the struggles.
The thing is, I think we have months or times in our lives when nothing really outstanding happens; but there is the daily grind of forging ahead, feeling hit by waves of emotions, trying not to drown, and somehow in it all, enjoy the ride. There's all the falls, and when one looks back on it, it's not a happy memory.
But I need to change my perspective, because it's cause of those times that I'm here today, and I know I'm better for it. I'm stronger and better able to face that challenges of today.
And about the strong, flying, firing, draining emotions, I've learned it is possible to have a hand on them.
It's possible to be at peace in the midst of the storm, it's possible to get up after every fall...and be happy while at it. All that is needed is to look up.
Jesus is the best psychologist, and He can tell you what to do. He beats the best, best friend -and believe me cause I've got a great one!- He knows just what to do, and has all the power in the universe to make things right again. He just needs our trust, and as we give him time, walk ahead holding his hand, He does all that and more.
He's seriously pro at that, making things right.
I don't know how to handle life, but He does, and that's enough. Like the writer Anne Rice said, "if He knows everything, I don't need to know everything".

"There was the sense, profound and wordless, that if He knew everything I did not have to know everything, and that, in seeking to know everything, I’d been, all of my life, missing the entire point."

Note to self

Saying one never wants to be hurt again is like saying one never wants to love again.
And when with that in mind, I don't mind the hurt. Love makes it worth it all.
Oh, and...

It's everywhere, Jesus puts it everywhere; let it in, take it in, give it out.
Please don't forget that people don't regret loving at the end of their life,
what they regret is neglecting to love.

What I love about uncertainty

I'm uncertain, but I've never been this sure.
Sure that I'm loved, sure that He's with me on it.
Sure that I have no idea of what comes next.
Sure that things change and are never the same...
Sure that I don't have forever to be with the people I love, but there's never a goodbye that's true, cause I'll see you again.
Sure that with each step on thin air, He's taking me somewhere -where he wants me to go- and that is worth the uncertainty to me.
If at times I break down and forget, tell me to stop looking down and to look ahead. Isn't that what birds do?
I'm not a bird, but I have Him. And isn't that a million times better than having your own wings?
I'd die if I didn't have you all the time Jesus. Dead, yes. Thanks for keeping me alive, keeping me awake, thanks for giving me sight, thanks for holding my hand, thanks for surrounding me with your arms at night, thanks for making me laugh, thanks for kissing me sweet, holding my face in your hands and telling me as many times as I need to hear that all is okay.
I don't think I've ever been so in love with you..

Steph Cartoons by Adrian

These little things were created a boring Saturday at the Chilis restaurant. We work for kids, we entertain those munchkins, and there were none around. So I sent Adrian to the bar and he started sketching, he came back with this:

(Click to get a better look)

-grins- He personified different aspects of my nature (blush, blush) I thought it was so cute!
Complete with his drama...no, that's actually an all round family trait.

Notice the "Anja" book -wink-
I marry Gregory, dunno how that fits in with the story but I marry him.

"The Guardian", with Ashton Kutcher and Kevin Costner. You have to watch that movie if you haven't already! It's every bit worth your time, I tell you.
-grins-

It all started like this, his first inspiration.

Anyone who knows me knows I adore the moon. Hahah! Increadibly close to reality.
Yes, I love my little brother! Hahah, and he loves me, just as I am -smiles-
Am I not so lucky?

-Meet the artist: funny, smart, artistic, dramatic brother of mine.
Isn't he great? And what's best, he enjoys drawing so!
..I should encourage him more and give him more constructive criticism, he longs for it -like so many of us do.
It'd be so sad if we could see how much we played a part in not letting others learn to fly by failing to encourage to grow their wings.

"Don't ruin today"

"You cannot change the past; But you can ruin today by worrying about tomorrow."
I have a feeling that was written for me.
And the truth is..God is in control, He'll take care of that which concerns me. Why work myself into a tizzy, when there's an Awesome, Loving God to take care of it? I don't know.
He worked out the past, He's working out the present -and I tell you, its pretty goood!
And He will work out tomorrow, just like He did in the past and brought me here, to where I am today.
That's right Steph, just trust.

Omg those crunchy dry leaves are killing me!
(I wanna step on them!)
I'll enjoy the spring for now...there's actually a sweet smell in the air!

At starbucks

Friday, Jesse, Sandy and I went for coffee at a heavenly little nook of a place called appropriately: "heavenly Starbucks".
Got so terribly full with the frapuccinos and I couldn't even resist the temptation of stealing sips from the others as well. I could hardly move at the end.
We did what we do best, talk and laugh at old nonsense! -Enjoying the yumminess was a wonderful plus.
Few things are easier than being myself with friends as amazing as they, knowing they accept me and love me just as I am. Even if I laugh real suddenly and loud or say the most unusual things -grins-.

I love this quote:
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind." -Dr. Seuss
And, "To be yourself in a world that is continually trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." -Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I love you! -Just had to say that.

Red n' black

So I was trying on all the dresses there is in the house, specifically Nina's this time.
Keep in mind: last days of freedom before school.
I go to Adrian to button up, and then model around for myself. Soon enough he had taken out boots and high heels, convinced that he'd make me look funny. Alright then!
I didn't allow it. But he still had fun, going up and down the stairs with those boots must've been a sight! I'm rather clumsy.

Nina was the dear photographer, my 12 year old lovely sis.

I'll tell you something

I'm in love.

Some other little & odd details about me:
I look for the moon almost everynight.
I purposley step on dry leaves, the crunchiness just thrills me.
I love to sleep in fresh and clean sheets.
I can suddenly start dancing salsa without any music.
I enjoy spending time in my rooftop.
I doubt I can live without my watch.
I wash my hands whenever I feel them dirty.
There is a certain red bird that makes me smile a few centimeters wider.
I'm severly tickelish.