The leash: A reflection about a healthier Life

Last Sunday I had a very vivid picture of what it means to have an unhealthy relation to someone else's emotions.
It all started with a nice walk with my dog, Charles. We walked near my house, which is perched at the top of a hill. Some dogs came along and attempted to claim the front of our house as their territory. This wasn't something Charlie would allow. I shooed the dogs away and as they left, Charlie ran after them with all his might. The strength of a well-fed 1-year-old lab took me extremely quickly down the hill trying to stay on my feet. Soon enough the inevitable happened. I fell flat on my face in a mixture of concrete and dirt. I know it was the latter as well because some of it was on my mouth and nose.
I'm happy to say my bruises are no longer dark purple and it's a miracle nothing was broken or sprained. Yet, there was a question that made me think, "Why didn't you let go of him?" my sister asked. "Oh, I did! Once I was on the floor!", I responded at first. But then I felt a little glimpse of realization. Aren't my relationships with people sometimes that way? If my loved one is sad, and if I choose to attach an unhealthy emotional tie between me and him or her, my spirits will come tumbling down, no matter how great of a day I was having. Similarly, it can happen with happiness, and fear, and jealousy and all kinds of emotions.
The problem is that I let others guide my emotions, when I should be in charge. Just like with Charles, I was supposed to be in charge!
It's a weird phenomenon I'm still learning about but I know there are healthy and unhealthy responses that we can have to others' emotions. And it's tricky for me to get rid of some of these habits. Yet, I've taken it to Jesus and asked for his help and I can say He has been working!
For instance, if X is having a terrible day and chooses to look at the negative side of everything, before I would say, "Poor X! He's in a bad mood again." Finding out why was my mission, and then I would try so hard to revert X's mood. This wouldn't work most of the time of course, and if it did, it was short-lived. And the situation with X would continue, which would sadden me and make me unhappy for days until magically X had a happier day cause he finally decided to look at the bright side of life. This is taxing. Not the way I want to live.
Now, when X is having a bad day I'm not happy for it, cause I love X. But I know that X has a choice: to get himself out of the pit. He knows I'm here if he needs me, but if he doesn't want to come that's his decision. I'll still pray for X. Yet I'll be having a merry day because I choose to. I might be saddened that X doesn't want to join me, but my joy cannot be lost because of X. The joy of living is much too precious to tie it to the emotions of a mortal which I have no control over. I know I have to be mature enough to accept that every person makes decisions and I cannot make them for them. They have a choice and I have my own.
And the choice I have to consciously make every moment is to tie my joy to Jesus, and not anything of this world, including people.

My donut principle

At the end of an Italian exam, my teacher told me the following in his native tongue: "If you feel sad, a little sad, be positive! Think positively because God has given you much talent!" I was surprised at his words and thanked him. Those words couldn’t have come at a better moment.

How did my Italian teacher, whom I only see at the end of the week, know that I had been struggling these days with darkened thoughts and needing to be more positive?

I consider myself a generally positive person and lots of people tell me that is part of who they know me to be. But lately, oh that’s a different story. You know when you find something wrong with nearly everything and everyone around you, except a few blessed souls? When people become irritating beyond what you thought they could be? And even though they’re doing something insignificant it bothers you? Well it had happened a lot in school, and I had been critical for way too long and it was affecting my interactions with people, my mood and my performance. I was annoyed. I told Jesus to help me and I could see myself slowly progressing.

Then my Italian teacher, with his simple encouraging words, reminded me of the donut principle. And that when I focus on the donut and not on the hole…

1. My perspective shifts from the problems to the solutions and possibilities.

2. I find myself doing things with gusto, remembering what they’re for.

3. I’m happier.

4. I’m able to do more in less time or if not, I simply do a much better job!

6. I don’t shy away from difficulties knowing that I have a great God who can help me learn and rise above them!

7. I face challenges head on.

5. I can give my all, and isn’t that what I want? Life is life and it passes away!

And I’m sure there are countless benefits found from looking on the donut and not on the hole!

Jesus, thank you so much for your heavenly reminders and messengers that work as angels on this Earth. Thank you for my Italian teacher, thank you for knowing me so well and never failing to give me just what I need. Thank you so much for Windy, and how her faith-filled attitide while encountering difficulties encourages my faith! Thank you so much for Sandy, who with her set-on-being-positive-no-matter-what attitude inspires me to do the same! Bless her Jesus, she is such a sample to follow! Did you know she is taking charge of a big house, two sisters, her school work as well as countless details that show up? Yes and looking at the donut and not on the hole. It was great seeing you today, ma cherie!

Best friends have a way to shift your perspective from the ground to the dancing sunlight of Jesus’ strong, everlasting love. Thank you so much Jesus!

What truly matters

Today I talked to a man, who has been a friend, a mentor and a former teacher of mine. He told me he had blown it really bad, that all of his long hours at work, doing all he could to reach a higher level of living had been futile cause now in the state he was in, having money didn't matter at all. Possessions meant little to him, he couldn't care less for the material things and it showed. But he grasped on to a little book with Jesus' words and trusted that "This will help me on!"
In the end that's all that will.
In the end, love is what matters most.
His misty eyes told me this is a reality I must keep for life. Yet another reminder, thank you Sweet Love.

Thank you Jesus for my sight!

Sometimes I grumble about needing my glasses. They get in my way, they're unromantic, and they make me feel like I need to be careful rather than playful. But without them, the stars look fuzzy, loved faces meters away from mine look blurry and I'd surely end up waving frantically at a stranger thinking it's a friend.
I'm actually thankful for my gift of sight, Jesus. Increadibly thankful!
I'm thankful I can watch butterflies float by; the look of my mom's mouth wide open roaring with laughter and my dad's funny look while sitting next to her. I'm thankful I can see close to a hundred birds gather on phone wires and fly toward the horizon together. I'm thankful for the look of a couple in love dancing. The sight of my loved ones gliding through ice or stumbling a little. I love the sight of family or friends hugging each other!
I praise you Jesus for the gift of seeing happiness in the eyes of those I love. I praise you for how I can spot a dandelion and watch its dancing seeds fly away. (Even if it's into my mouth...Sandy!) I praise you for how I can see the Christmas lights shine and the manger scene make a child smile. Oh and the look of people's goofy faces! I praise you for the sight of words on paper or on a screen through which I keep in contact with friends far away, and I praise you for sight of the street that takes me to my best friend's home. Thank you for the sight of little kids with open arms running to me! And for the sight of the glistening moon in its many phases. Thank you for the sight of my sweet mom whose presence rules the kitchen, thank you for the sight of her beautiful hands and that of her head peeping in by the door to say: "I love you! Goodnight!". I praise you for the look of accomplishemnt in Adrian's face when he completes a drawing and likes his work or when he's concentrating on something. Thank you for the sight of Nina's curls, laughing face and the excited look she has when she comes to tell me something. Thank you for the sight of my dad's moustache, his hands at the wheel and the way he looks when he has kissed my hand. I praise you for the sight of the woods lighting up when the sun comes to greet them and the display of beauty when the sun says goodbye.
Not to mention the gift of touch, smell, taste or sound!
You've honestly made life great, beautiful, spiced up and intersting!
Thank you so much for my senses Jesus! I don't think I can properly thank you for things, but I'll keep enjoying them and I'll tell you more how appreciate them so, one at a time! It would be tragic to have one of my senses go missing and only then realize how blessed I am in being able to experience them to the full! 'Course, that's up to me. Help me, dear Love!

"Enjoy the little things‚ for they are the essence of life. Appreciate the senses I have given you; use them to their fullest. When you look, see. When you eat, taste. When you hear‚ listen. When you touch, feel. When you smell, let the scent fill your whole body. It is only when you take My blessings for granted that life loses its luster." -Jesus

The best monday

When one lives happy days, even when nothing outstanding takes place, but instead it's a string of many lovely, simple and worthwhile little things, one feels alive! -and doesn't want to forget what it's like. Those days make you realize how beautiful things are an every day happening. Sure the world is going in a spiral downwards...but someone told me you don't have to go with it. And I don't want to.
It's not about creating a blissful illusion or a reality that doesn't exist, it's just recognizing like Agatha Cristhie said, that being alive is a grand thing!
And in honor of this one Monday I've lived...I shall make an effort to love all Mondays from now on.
I was remembering recently a quote that read: "You wanna be happy? -expectant grin- then, be." -Oh...-
About this very day all I can say that I haven't already is:

Life, real love, truth, beauty and simplicity -these things can make me cry tears of joy almost any day.
Thanks for them God, they're the part of Heaven that's on Earth -smiles-

With new eyes

I feel like a little girl with new eyes.

Because I've got glasses with new lenses!
Everything looks sharper, clearer and even colors look brighter.
It reminds me how much I want a better, richer perspective.
Positiveness is so much better!

A very wise Vietnamese said:
"You can use your life in a very useful and intelligent way. You can very well transform negative energy into a positive energy that empowers you and makes life meaningful -and here Steph smiles real wide-." -Thich Nhat Hanh.

"Some people are unbelievably cheerful in the midst of difficulty or obstacles; others bemoan the slightest inconvenience. Those who look for the upside of any trouble are the ones who come out ahead in quality of life. And the radiance of their positive attitude sheds light on the paths of others." -Chloe West

To me, it's worth fighting to be one of those people.

More mistakes

Most of us hate mistakes -wholeheartedly! The thought of being wrong, of blowing it again.
Yet I was remembering, while I sat on a green sofa with all intentions to study for my coming Philosophy test, how many people who have lived life fully become pretty carefree. There was a man who once said: "If I could live again, I'd try to make more mistakes (Here you have my wide eyes). I'd relax more. I'd climb more mountains. Swim across more rivers. Pick more daisies. I'd suffer more real problems and less imaginary ones."
I realize I am afraid of making mistakes, the big ones that you can't fix. Or the little stupid ones that mess up things and ruin them. Then I think, "thank God that my decisions or bad decisions at that, don't affect so many others; thank God that I don't have big responsibilities hinging on the outcome of those. It'd be very different if I had kids to look after for instance..."
I feel it's safer to make mistakes now, because I don't have heavy responsibilities. But I think I'll spend all of my life learning that mistakes are good for me, cause if not, how would you have me learn?
The man's name was Don Herold, and he wanted to make more mistakes.
I guess he wanted to learn more -from them.

Oh, let's pretend it's Christmas!

I have Christmas thoughts yet again and it's so weird. I've been thinking, and stumbling upon a few writings about it, and singing Christmas carols! There is just something about it that can bring life into the things you do. It can bring to life the reasons and meanings behind what we go through, what happens on Earth and the life we lead, and the love we all have to give -if we think about it.

Christmas means love, and there just is a certain bounce to my step if I think about love. And Christmas love was and is of the highest forms of love there is and ever could be. The ultimate.

The father sent His son. His son left it all behind, He gave up all he had to come, to live in the way a strange and very loved species does. He became a baby, a kid, a teen -special excitement on this one-, an adult, so that He could understand us all. And then He took all of our shortcomings and falling short of divine expectations, all on Himself. So that we could live with Him for eternity, do the things that make us happy and love forevermore! It's no fairy tale, no matter what we've done or haven't done.

You may know this all way too well, and I'm rambling. But it got me real happy just to think of it.

Merry Christmas! (grins)

Why wait till Christmas time again is here?

Why spend those precious hours in hectic ways,

Doing the things that you could do all year,

And let the noise and whirl of festival days

Drown out the angel’s song?

Why not take time to lift the eyes to candles in the sky,

To walk, some silent night, while carols chime,

And hear the hush of wings brush softly by?

Take time to meditate, to catch the spell

Of childish trust, that simple faith you knew

When love was everywhere, and all was well?

The gift you lost will then come back to you.

Seek not for Christmas in the busy mart,

But cradled somewhere in a trusting heart.

—Rachel van Crème

News for the jolly

Nina and I just finished a "Welcome home" sign for my mom and Adrian. They'll be back from Monterrey tomorrow morning, or so they say. My mom will always want to travel in the night. Time is precious in her sight and when its night, well...you're doing two things at once, or trying to.
I talked in the phone with Adrian for the first time the other day. He inquired about the bunny, "Is Jake dead?" "No, Adrian. What made you think that? He's fine, fat as ever." "Who died then?"
I miss him.
And my mom, my beautiful can't-be-stopped mother won't need to use her thick eye contacts any longer! We hope she'll recuperate fully and won't be in need of a second operation, could you pray too?
Two weeks with just dad are over -I speak for my sister and I.
1. We had lots of noise in the house late at night, with music playing loud, the TV on, and me dancing with the broom on the side. (This is completely unheard of when mom is home, she's an early raiser!)
2. We had running ventures through a little path lined up with trees. A nice break from playing funny basketball everyday.
3. The meals were a teamwork effort, made a few minutes before we were all hungry.
4. We had the sweet treats: ice cream, lots of cheese, different kinds too (God loves me), and weirdo-fun movies.
5. We made fun of him and sat on his back, when he craved a massage. He's an old man now.
6. He still insists on an explanation when I go out on the roof in the night. "Is it really the stars you're staring at?" "What else is there?" No worries, dad. There isn't a guy that goes to his window every night to striptease for me. I'm just a nice, innocent dork... who laughs with herself.

Latest family picture -thought it'd be significant to this post.
Smile!
You look sexier that way.

Pretty sister

Who says animals can't dance?
The truth:
The rabbit doesn't love me. It loves Nina.

Adrian