I review the
week's happenings, straining to remember where time went. Conferences, a free
day, a seemingly useless morning in school, English classes, going to church. I
feel anxious at the thought of not having done more with all the unusual free
time I had this week. And I wonder how I'll be able to fit in new projects this
month if I don't even know where my free time went this week...
My stomach
feels uneasy.
"You gave
time to others", it startles me. "Did I...?"
"More than
usual"
I start feeling
comforted as flashes of time spent talking, connecting with, and writing people and loved ones cross my mind. I watched TV with my dad, it was just a
half hour, but I hadn't done that for that long in ages. My sister and I talked
in the kitchen. My English students and I spent an extra half hour together
talking and snacking on chips. I gave of myself in a new place too, this week.
I don't watch movies often because I think of my to-do list and feel I don't
have the time...but this weekend I watched a wonderful movie titled
"Courageous", and mom and I cried together. Concerning someone, I
didn't even think I had any forgiving to do but not only did I realize it, I made a huge leap in forgiving them.
Surely there are
many things I wish I had done this week. But I think it's important to realize
that not everything that counts can be counted.
Time will never
come to knock on my doorstep and say "I'm here!" So perhaps what I
need to do in weeks like this, every day really, is to thank God for my health
and capability to do what I did do, my lessons on work ethic learned from the
time I didn't spend right, and thank Him for the precious, priceless time
spent connecting with my loved ones. And thank Him that He helped me to not
trade that treasure for a minuscule accomplishment or gain that I can't take
with me to eternity.
Thank you, Jesus.
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