Roses and thorns

I woke up this morning hearing my mom's voice calling my name and saying "Stephanie, you forgot to put the alarm clock on, get up!" "What day is it?" -I was that lost.
I got ready in record time and only thanks to Jesus I didn't miss my bus. But before I ran out the door I somehow managed to get a quote from my quote bottle, I read: "He who would have nothing to do with thorns must never attempt to gather flowers." I pictured a rose bush in my head and smiled, bearly thinking on the deeper meaning of that quote. I put it in my pocket for later examination.
In a few hours I was in school engrossed in a book, but I let my thoughts twirl downwards and with them went my feelings. It was like losing reasons to smile, reasons to sing, reasons to be happy. It wasn't the thought of one problem that troubled me, it was the thought of them all. I couldn't believe that even the beautiful day couldn't make a change in my mood. "I guess so" I thought. I excused myself, left my book and went to the bathroom to pray. Yes, to the bathroom. I told Jesus I didn't know what was happening to me, that I didn't want to just lose it, lose my joy and crumble at the thought of my little troubles that felt so big to my emotional side. I told him about one in particular, how I was missing someone very much, a person who most likely won't ever think of me as I do of him. When I was done explaining the matters of my heart, I waited for him to do the miracle in my heart and help me.
He did so wonderfully.
I decided I'd work on a project pending. I searched in my computer for something and the results showed a list of poems and stories about gratitude. No idea how it had anything to do with what I was looking for, but yes with what was in my heart. I remembered the quote about roses and thorns I had read in the morning, I had my answer.

I've been countin' up my blessings,
I've been summin' up my woes,
But I ain't got the conclusion
Some would naturally suppose.

Why I quit accounting troubles,
For I had half a score,
While the more I count my blessings,
I keep a finding more & more!

There've been things that weren't exactly
As I thought they oughtta be,
And I often growled at problems
For not a peppin' me.

But I hadn't stopped to reason
What the other side had been,
How much of good & blessing
Had been thickly crowded in.

For there'd been a rift of sunshine
After every shower of tears,
And I found a load of laughter
Scattered all along the years.

If the thorns had pricked me sometimes,
I've good reason to suppose,
Love has hid them often from me
`Neath the shadow of the rose.

So I'm gonna still be thankful
For the sunshine & the rain,
For the joy that's made me happy,
For the purgin' done by pain.

For the love of little children
For the friends that have been true,
For the Guiding Hand that's led me
Every threatenin' danger through!

Beautiful, no? I think so. And it's every bit true in my life.
George Matheson wrote:
"My God, I have never thanked Thee for my `thorn'! I have thanked Thee a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my `thorn'; I have been looking forward to a world where I shall get compensation for my cross as itself a present glory. Teach me the glory of my cross; teach me the value of my `thorn'. Show me that I have climbed to Thee by the path of pain. Show me that my tears have made my rainbow."

There's no roses without thorns.

Radiance

A dear friend wrote this for me. I didn't think it'd come to mean so much and be a pick-up for my heart when I was in such need. Ricky wrote it months before some happenings in my life would give it a lot of meaning. It came to be the arms of love and friendship wrapped around me.

Shine on bright, make a sign
I know you can do it

Hold on tight, forget the pain
You can fly to His arms

Take the change, radiance
We know we'll be strong

So now, it seems like everything is gone
But Tomorrow you'll find your Own
Take a look at the sun, 'Cause there's no storm
We'll keep on going on

Step by step, we'll make the way
And our feet won't feel heavy.
When we get there, you won't repair
your damaged and worn-out clothes.

I know you're eyes are not lying
I wonder How could they lie?
When eyes are just little windows
Where we can see what's going on inside.

One thing I would remember when walking along was: "Take a look at the Sun, 'cause there's no storm." And that was for sure. I had been making storms in my head, wallowing in the negative thoughts I'd get. But with Jesus' sun at my center my world was warm, bright and full of light. I had to stop looking down at the puddles of mud formed by tears and take a look at the sun to see the world for what it really is, mud piles, rocky cliffs, ocean and shine. Thank you for the radiance of your friendship Ricky!

To my angel-like best friend

When I need to laugh, somehow its always possible with you.
When I'm all tears and blubbering, you hug me and understand.
When I need some arms around me, yours are more than willing.
When my eyes are on the mud, you help me look up at the sparkling night sky and see the best of things.
When I'm sick, you come along and make my heart glad.
When I'm at my worst, you still see possibilities in me, your eyes can see something beautiful.
When I'm all smiles and laughter, you join in singing jolly, silly songs!
When I need an angel, when I need to know that things are alright, when I need to laugh and forget about myself, you're more than ready to fill the need and you don't even notice perhaps, how much of an angel you are to me. But Jesus knows, He sent you along.
Jesus is so wise, so grand, so marvelous, merciful and generous. And knows exactly what we need at the right time and brings the perfect person, the perfect opportunity, the perfect moment to grow and love, to wake us up and remind us that we're alive!
I love you dear!
Thank you for being in my life! Thanks Jesus, you're the best! -huge smile-

Thinking of better days

Sometimes I get into thinking:
"I can't wait for this and that to happen", "If only I had just the one to share my whole life with!", "When I get better at doing this or that I'll be so happy!".
It's like putting off happiness, waiting for better days to knock and enter my doorstep.
Why don't I make the better days now?
If I remember that joy and sorrow, good and bad, pretty and ugly accompany us all the while, no matter our ages, state or season, frankly this season can be the best!
There's no reason why I can't have the best of times now. Surely things aren't perfect, circumstances have a knack for changing. And the times I wish I were exactly on the other side of the world with someone just for a few hours, makes me realize that I'd want more, and that with human nature circumstances and conditions won't ever be enough.
So am I gonna let my dreams come true and pass me by because I was reaching out to some other new longing and desire, some other new thing I didn't have?
Will I fail to enjoy my dreams that have already come true today simply because they don't include every single one I want?
If I do, that just makes me ridiculously bratty and so sadly, blind. Honestly I don't know which one's worse.
Let me tell you some about my dreams come true:
~I've got wonderful friends who genuinely care about me, love me and wish to see me succeed.
~I'm with my family: two siblings, mom and dad.
~I have Jesus, fulfiller of dreams, and I know that whatever takes time or doesn't happen here on Earth, there's eternity in Heaven where all dreams do come true.

On the same topic, I'm going to University! Not exactly in my list of dreams for long at all, but it means that my dream of playing a part to have more English literature translated to Spanish can come true, and that perhaps I'll be an useful interpreter one day -grins-!

So darling Jesus, I want to enjoy every step I take and make the better days today! I commit to doing so with your hands touching my heart and opening my eyes helping me to see things as they truly are.
Thank you for all that you are and do! Can't thank you enough.
Thank you!

Dear Ryan

I admire the long way you've come.
You remind me how immensely precious people are.
I admire the life lessons you've learned and that you have the courage to share them with all of us, to show who you are with no shame. That's admirable! -smiles-
I'm so happy that the beauty of your life has touched mine, it makes me feel real thankful.
Granted we don't have enough strength to make it on our own, we need each other, and most of all, we need Jesus.
I'm thankful for all the love and beauty your life exudes; they beauty of your journey, the beauty of your discoveries, the beauty of your fights and the beauty of your love and dreams. It's opened my eyes when I needed it, encouraged me when I was weak and stumbling, and showed me another part of my life and heart I hadn't payed attention to before.
Thank you for marking my life. You really didn't meant to, you were just being you.
Stay wonderful, as you are. But I have a feeling time will only make you better! You'll only get better with time!

Happy Belated Birthday Ryan! -by the time you get to read this, it will be :-*

To my girlies

In an ice cream container I read: "There are lots of reasons to celebrate, look around, and pick one!"
And I want to celebrate you my girlfriends! -beautiful, crazy nutcases whom I wouldn't be the same without.
It's a celebration in thankfulness for friends like you, who stick through thick and thin, who know what makes me feel ashamed of myself, and still love me, in spite of myself.
You choose to stick around bearing my burdens, helping to heal my wounds, watching my back, inspiring me to love better and give my best shot at life. You encourage me, and by seeing the best of me you help me to believe in myself. You remind me that there's nothing love can't do, no place love can't reach. You remind me that there isn't anything in this life that can't be conquered, because you are fighters yourselves.
You're many times just the reminder I need, telling me that I'm not alone. And it's true, I never am.
You are more than enough reason to celebrate, not just now but to live celebrating!
Not many are blessed with such friends like you, sisters, angels in disguise...and partners for crazy moments.
To you! (clink, clink)
I love your girls -smiles- thank you for your unconditional love. You take me as I am.

Thanks to prayer

Because you loved me, because you held me, because you prayed for me, I'm here.
I honestly don't know where I'd be right now without the prayers of my friends, loved ones and mom who I know continually prays for us her children.
If I'm alive it's thanks to you, if I'm happy it's thanks to you, if I'm progressing and learning from life it's thanks to you; because you believed in me, you loved me and you went the extra mile as to pray for me and put in God's power to work in my behalf. What can be greater than that?
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. -Jn.15:13
Thank you.