What will I do with my sparkler?

"There's something interesting about sparklers:
1. They're amusing.
2. They burn out super quick. (While my kids were still writing their name, the sparkler just became a smoking rod.)

David writes this: "God, teach me to number my days that I will live wisely"

And, I've come to a realization. We can choose to take out lives (which are burning like a sparkler right now) and run around and show people all the stuff we can do with our gifts and talents. We can treat them as if they are an audience to our show.

OR we can become igniters. With our sparklers (lives), we can begin to light everybody around us. So by the time our sparkler is snuffed out, we leave a world that is burring and alive. One that is writing their names in the sky because we choose to live a life to ignite others with the cause of Christ.

I choose to ignite."

(Read the complete blogpost by Pierre du Plessis!)

Jesus, you know how perfect this was for my heart today. Help me to not want to run around seeking to prove myself and my work. But rather see myself in perspective and remember how short my life really is, how small I am and how nothing I am without you. Yet with You I can light everyone around me:  my family, my husband-to-be, my friends, my students and my coworkers. Teach me to point others to You with simple acts of sincere love and care, dedication --doing all things to give you glory, and humility  --relying completely on You.

I'm left with a reflection on the analogy: What will I do with my sparkler? Will I show it off or will I multiply the light and enjoy every second of it?

Rethinking Valentine's day

Valentine's day has left an echo on facebook and all around, like the chocolate in my bag. I just read two blogposts written by Jarrid and Juli Wilson that I loved. They have food for thought and I want to share them with you.

Look at this:
"My wife and I have come to the realization that the only way our marriage will last 'until death do us part' is with constant and relentless pursuit, no matter the time and day. This means that we encourage ourselves to treat every day like its Valentine’s Day." -Jarrid Wilson {I love it! It sounds like treating every day like it's Christmas. I'm so blessed that my honey actually thinks this way and prays to do it always.}

"Sometimes love doesn’t come delivered to the door covered in glitter with flashes of bright red and pink. It doesn’t always smell like roses – especially if you choose to serve at a shelter or two. It may not come in a heart-shaped box of chocolates, but I can assure you that it’s the sweetest thing you’ll ever experience. Love goes beyond personal preference and convenience. It’ll always cost you something, but it’ll just as surely will give you back everything you could ever hope for in life as well." -Juli Wilson

I don't know you, but I had to make a conscious effort to think of others this Valentine's and not of myself. That's why this is worth remembering.

Dear Jesus, please help me and every person who reads this to discover the wonder of serving others, being there for them, giving out of our hearts to them, loving them like You do. Please shoot love to the proper place in our priority list. And thank you that as we take time to care for your own, the people around us, in all ways that we can, you bring into our hearts that rich fulfillment found in loving someone more than ourselves. We ask for your help because we can't do that on our own. We want to rediscover the power and transcendence of love! A little love can go a long way. Thank you for creating such a wonderful bomb {love} to change the world with and for inviting us to be a part of it with You! I love you!

The leash: A reflection about a healthier Life

Last Sunday I had a very vivid picture of what it means to have an unhealthy relation to someone else's emotions.
It all started with a nice walk with my dog, Charles. We walked near my house, which is perched at the top of a hill. Some dogs came along and attempted to claim the front of our house as their territory. This wasn't something Charlie would allow. I shooed the dogs away and as they left, Charlie ran after them with all his might. The strength of a well-fed 1-year-old lab took me extremely quickly down the hill trying to stay on my feet. Soon enough the inevitable happened. I fell flat on my face in a mixture of concrete and dirt. I know it was the latter as well because some of it was on my mouth and nose.
I'm happy to say my bruises are no longer dark purple and it's a miracle nothing was broken or sprained. Yet, there was a question that made me think, "Why didn't you let go of him?" my sister asked. "Oh, I did! Once I was on the floor!", I responded at first. But then I felt a little glimpse of realization. Aren't my relationships with people sometimes that way? If my loved one is sad, and if I choose to attach an unhealthy emotional tie between me and him or her, my spirits will come tumbling down, no matter how great of a day I was having. Similarly, it can happen with happiness, and fear, and jealousy and all kinds of emotions.
The problem is that I let others guide my emotions, when I should be in charge. Just like with Charles, I was supposed to be in charge!
It's a weird phenomenon I'm still learning about but I know there are healthy and unhealthy responses that we can have to others' emotions. And it's tricky for me to get rid of some of these habits. Yet, I've taken it to Jesus and asked for his help and I can say He has been working!
For instance, if X is having a terrible day and chooses to look at the negative side of everything, before I would say, "Poor X! He's in a bad mood again." Finding out why was my mission, and then I would try so hard to revert X's mood. This wouldn't work most of the time of course, and if it did, it was short-lived. And the situation with X would continue, which would sadden me and make me unhappy for days until magically X had a happier day cause he finally decided to look at the bright side of life. This is taxing. Not the way I want to live.
Now, when X is having a bad day I'm not happy for it, cause I love X. But I know that X has a choice: to get himself out of the pit. He knows I'm here if he needs me, but if he doesn't want to come that's his decision. I'll still pray for X. Yet I'll be having a merry day because I choose to. I might be saddened that X doesn't want to join me, but my joy cannot be lost because of X. The joy of living is much too precious to tie it to the emotions of a mortal which I have no control over. I know I have to be mature enough to accept that every person makes decisions and I cannot make them for them. They have a choice and I have my own.
And the choice I have to consciously make every moment is to tie my joy to Jesus, and not anything of this world, including people.

What does gratitude mean for me today?

I sat on the bed waiting. I ended up putting my legs against the wall, just for fun, and thanked Him. So much has happened and it has all been directly thanks to God. So much beauty, fun and things I had been hoping and praying to do have happened, are happening or are in the verge of happening. And Jesus is the reason behind it all! The only thing that saddens me is that I don't always realize and live like it.

This rainy day, I read a post by Peter Amsterdam on gratitude. It has made me think how I lack a passionate and deep cry of thanks to Jesus, as well as consistent sincere thank you's for the everyday wonder of living life, for this particular day and stage of my life. Giving thanks to the Maker is part of really living. I know it! I've experienced, yet why don't I do it always?

The truth is I don't deserve it, yet I'm guilty every day of taking it for granted. "Oh yes, I'm just engaged to the most awesome guy in the world." "Ah yes, I get to see amazing things take place in my best friend's lives, and I get to share some of life's greatest joys with them, in person...and be there for their sorrows" "Um, of course I can move everything in my body and enjoy great health, I'm young!" 

See what I mean by taking things for granted? What comforts me is that the more I reflect on my attitude of late and the more I dwell on all that I have to say thank you to God for, I just become more grateful by the minute. Thank God!

Finding myself taking things for granted made me imagine how I'd feel if everything was all gone, ALL... and then I got it back again! That's gratitude! That's a tight, earnest hug for God, who gives it all. 

The District of Columbia police auctioned off about 100 unclaimed bicycles Friday. “One dollar,” said the 11-year-old boy who was bidding on the opening bid for the first bike. The bidding, however, went much higher. “One dollar,” the boy repeated hopefully each time another bike came up.

The auctioneer, who had been auctioning the stolen bikes for 43 years, noticed that the boy’s hopes seemed to soar whenever a racer-type bike was put up.

Then there was just one racer left. The bidding went to eight dollars.

“Sold to that boy over there for nine dollars!” said the auctioneer. He took eight dollars out of his own pocket and he asked the boy for his one dollar. The youngster, he turned over his money in pennies, and nickels, and dimes, and quarters, and he took the bike, and started to leave. But he only went a few feet. And carefully parking his possession, he went back, and gratefully threw his arms around the auctioneer’s neck, and he cried.

We should ask ourselves, “When was the last time I felt gratitude as deeply as this boy?”

Thomas S. Monson, “Think to Thank,” Ensign, Nov. 1998, 18.

I'm sure you have something precious, priceless, meaningful to thank God for today.

What about Mary?

I was looking at the manger scene and I thought: "What about Mary? Imagine how things must've been for her...My lord! She was just a teen! I remember researchers saying that she could've been from fifteteen to seventeen years old when she got engaged! How did the responsibility of raising Jesus feel for her?" -wide eyes-
That left me with something to think about and to parallel with my own life.
If it were me, I know I'd freak out at all that I'd have to do and be in order to become a good mother and set the right example for Jesus. I'm sure Mary did an amazing job though, imperfect and human as she was. She was picked out from all the women of the Earth for a reason. I can imagine Mary's tears, sweat and smiles; her effort to do the best she could and the love God had placed in her heart so that she would give it out and let it spill on others. She had the Son of God to love, as well as her fellow men.
And I know that as a human, she also must've failed, like any of us. It's also a fact she was young, quite young when she was given the biggest responsibility a woman could ever have.
Then I thought about my struggle with feeling incapable and giving myself reasons of why I can't do things, why I'm not prepared, how my experience and knowledge are insufficient. These things are true though, I am insufficient, I don't know what to do or how to go about doing things. The point is that all of that doesn't matter. Contrary to logic, Jesus can use that to do anything!
Actually there's logic there: when there's less of ourselves, there's more space for Jesus to fill, take over and use to accomplish His purposes.
My mind's favorite excuses are: "I'm too young", "I have no experience", "I won't do it right" and "I'll fail". But that's because my fears are completely afraid of drowning, burning, dying and passing into oblivion as steps forward are made.
This past year I found out I can do things I thought I couldn't, and do them right! I also fail, but I can get up! I can reach my full potential and I can do the things I don't feel prepared to do, simply because if they're in front of me it means God has sent them for a reason and He's been preparing me for them.
I don't know what's ahead. I just don't want to put limitations on what I'll do and what opportunities I'll take on. I don't care if I feel small and incapable and if I must face my fears to conquer them. I don't care if the world seems to be closing in on me when I'm in the middle of a struggle, fighting for success. I'll do the best I can, that's my job. And I'll let Jesus do all that I can't, that's His job.
As far of fear of failure goes, He and I are burning that one down together.
I'd like to tell you that this last year I had the privilege of meeting glowing individuals! I watched them shine, fill the need, lead a crowd, do things they had never done before and were afraid of doing! They rose to meet the challenges in front of them. And let me tell you, it didn't matter their age! Although some were years younger than me -smiles-, you know who you are.
How many excuses we come up with doesn't really matter. We'll always have to fight them to get to where we're meant to. They're just that, "excuses" -even if I like calling them reasons.
We can't let excuses keep our potential locked in, keep us from doing all we could, keep us from meeting the people God wants us to, keep us from helping someone else. Most of all, we can't let excuses keep us from fulfilling our destiny and living a full life!
What can a young boy or girl do?
One thing is for sure, Jesus has always used the foolish things of this world.
With Jesus, we have the possibility of doing anything!

The Christmas tree

I felt sheer joy to reflect on this. I realized that these could be my words and felt happier yet to think of all who can say the same! I love you!

"A Christmas tree! What a beautiful sight! But what does it mean to me? I wondered, as I gazed at the Yuletide display before me.
The evergreen tree—it symbolizes Jesus, who lives in my heart for good. He never dies away in the winter of my difficulties, but is always with me.
The star on the tip-top of the tree is like that unforgettable star that lit the way to the first humble home of my Savior two thousand years ago. It also reminds me to always look up, that there’s always a shining star of hope, even in my darkest nights.
The baubles and pretty decorations are the good, happy things that fill my life with spice and delight. I don’t take time as often as I should to thank God for all my blessings, or even for the sad things and the hard times that have made me into the person that I am today. Life wouldn’t be life without both joy and sadness, the good and the bad.
The colorful string of lights reminds me of the things God does to light my way through life. “His Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” I never need feel alone.
And last but not least, the presents under the Christmas tree symbolize my gifts to Jesus. It’s His birthday, after all. The most meaningful gifts are gifts of love—time, friendship, company, giving, forgiveness, and understanding. I give Him gifts each time I give from my heart to others.
The heart of Christmas is not in the presents we give, but the love that we share. This is what makes Christmas."—Amanda White

Roses and thorns

I woke up this morning hearing my mom's voice calling my name and saying "Stephanie, you forgot to put the alarm clock on, get up!" "What day is it?" -I was that lost.
I got ready in record time and only thanks to Jesus I didn't miss my bus. But before I ran out the door I somehow managed to get a quote from my quote bottle, I read: "He who would have nothing to do with thorns must never attempt to gather flowers." I pictured a rose bush in my head and smiled, bearly thinking on the deeper meaning of that quote. I put it in my pocket for later examination.
In a few hours I was in school engrossed in a book, but I let my thoughts twirl downwards and with them went my feelings. It was like losing reasons to smile, reasons to sing, reasons to be happy. It wasn't the thought of one problem that troubled me, it was the thought of them all. I couldn't believe that even the beautiful day couldn't make a change in my mood. "I guess so" I thought. I excused myself, left my book and went to the bathroom to pray. Yes, to the bathroom. I told Jesus I didn't know what was happening to me, that I didn't want to just lose it, lose my joy and crumble at the thought of my little troubles that felt so big to my emotional side. I told him about one in particular, how I was missing someone very much, a person who most likely won't ever think of me as I do of him. When I was done explaining the matters of my heart, I waited for him to do the miracle in my heart and help me.
He did so wonderfully.
I decided I'd work on a project pending. I searched in my computer for something and the results showed a list of poems and stories about gratitude. No idea how it had anything to do with what I was looking for, but yes with what was in my heart. I remembered the quote about roses and thorns I had read in the morning, I had my answer.

I've been countin' up my blessings,
I've been summin' up my woes,
But I ain't got the conclusion
Some would naturally suppose.

Why I quit accounting troubles,
For I had half a score,
While the more I count my blessings,
I keep a finding more & more!

There've been things that weren't exactly
As I thought they oughtta be,
And I often growled at problems
For not a peppin' me.

But I hadn't stopped to reason
What the other side had been,
How much of good & blessing
Had been thickly crowded in.

For there'd been a rift of sunshine
After every shower of tears,
And I found a load of laughter
Scattered all along the years.

If the thorns had pricked me sometimes,
I've good reason to suppose,
Love has hid them often from me
`Neath the shadow of the rose.

So I'm gonna still be thankful
For the sunshine & the rain,
For the joy that's made me happy,
For the purgin' done by pain.

For the love of little children
For the friends that have been true,
For the Guiding Hand that's led me
Every threatenin' danger through!

Beautiful, no? I think so. And it's every bit true in my life.
George Matheson wrote:
"My God, I have never thanked Thee for my `thorn'! I have thanked Thee a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my `thorn'; I have been looking forward to a world where I shall get compensation for my cross as itself a present glory. Teach me the glory of my cross; teach me the value of my `thorn'. Show me that I have climbed to Thee by the path of pain. Show me that my tears have made my rainbow."

There's no roses without thorns.

Pondering today...

We decide to accept the gifts of love given to us. That we don't choose to take in the love doesn't mean we aren't loved.

I told him: "I need someone to make me believe in love again." (love between couples)
And there He was, telling me that someone was He.

"It's amazing what love can do", my mom wrote. "It makes you feel alive, like you can accomplish anything, like nothing is impossible."

Why do we run away from love? Why do we try to hide from it? Is it because we're so terrified of being vulnerable? Is it because we think we can't handle it? Is it because we are afraid it'll crush us when it's gone? Is it because we want to prove we can be strong without it? Is it because it makes us feel and look like fools? Or is it because it's so great it frightens us, and it's so simple it scares us even more? We can make loving complicated, but love is in fact simple. And it's what makes life worth living.
God is love.

Yesterday's tomorrow

Couldn't have been said better

Today is Yesterday’s Tomorrow
By Jim Rohn, Oct. 4, 2010

The problem with waiting until tomorrow is that when it finally arrives, it is called today. Today is yesterday’s tomorrow. The question is what did we do with its opportunity? All too often we will waste tomorrow as we wasted yesterday, and as we are wasting today. All that could have been accomplished can easily elude us, despite our intentions, until we inevitably discover that the things that might have been have slipped from our embrace a single, unused day at a time.
Each of us must pause frequently to remind ourselves that the clock is ticking. The same clock that began to tick from the moment we drew our first breath will also someday cease.
Time is the great equalizer of all mankind. It offers opportunity but demands a sense of urgency.
When the game of life is finally over, there is no second chance to correct our errors. The clock that is ticking away the moments of our lives does not care who succeeds or who fails. It does not care about excuses, fairness or equality. The only essential issue is how we played the game.
Regardless of a person’s current age, there is a sense of urgency that should drive them into action now—this very moment. We should be constantly aware of the value of each and every moment of our lives—moments that seem so insignificant that their loss often goes unnoticed.
We still have all the time we need. We still have lots of chances, lots of opportunities, lots of years to show what we can do. For most of us, there will be a tomorrow, a next week, a next month, and a next year. But unless we develop a sense of urgency, those brief windows of time will be sadly wasted, as were the weeks and months and years before them. There isn’t an endless supply!
So, as you think of your dreams and goals of your future tomorrow, begin today to take those very important first steps to making them all come to life.

Winners

"Winners work at doing things the rest of the population won’t even consider trying."

"When you've paid the price, you expect the gold"
By Denis Waitley, Sept. 21, 2010

One of the most inspirational moments in my years serving as Chairman of Psychology on The U.S. Olympic Committee’s Sports Medicine Council was witnessing the first perfect 10 ever scored by an American gymnast in the summer games, by Mary Lou Retton in the Los Angeles Summer Games in 1984. (Steph's note: this girl was 16 when she won!)
Mary Lou wasn’t born a classic gymnast. She didn’t have the movements of a ballet dancer. She was just 4 feet 9 inches tall, with a compact, muscular body. She said, “I knew I wouldn’t look graceful in floor exercises, or doing those ballerina moves. But I was a good sprinter and I had a lot of power and explosiveness. So I could do some things some of the other girls couldn’t do.”
By the age of 14 she was West Virginia State Champion, and winning gymnastic meets throughout the world. But as young as she was, she was mature enough to realize she needed to do much more. “I needed someone pushing me,” she said. “I needed some other girls around me who were shooting for the same goal I was.”
So, at a time when most teenagers are thinking about anything but commitment, Mary Lou Retton made an enormous sacrifice. She left the comfort of her home in Fairmont, West Virginia, and moved to Houston, into the home of a family she didn’t know, just for the opportunity to train under one of the world’s greatest, but most demanding, gymnastic coaches, Bela Karolyi.
While other kids were watching TV, going to a movie, hanging out with friends, and going on trips, she was practicing four hours a day, seven days a week. Karolyi changed everything she had been doing for eight years, from the way she tumbled to the way she ate. As the Olympic Games drew nearer, she described her day this way, “An eight o’clock workout, then to school, back to the gym for four more hours of work, then homework, then bed.”
A grind? To be sure. Fun? Not much. Then why? Because winners work at doing things the rest of the population won’t even consider trying. She may not have enjoyed the routine, but she loved the sport, the challenge, and the dream. Then, just a few weeks before the summer games, her right knee suddenly locked. Fragments of torn cartilage had broken loose and had become wedged in the knee joint. Less than 10 days after arthroscopic surgery, she was back in the gym for a full workout. There was no time to lose, only time to get ready to win.
In her final event, the vault, Mary Lou needed a 9.95, a near-perfect performance, to tie the Romanian favorite for the gold medal. One writer described her effort this way: “She raced down the line, sprang off the vault, twisted at high altitude, and landed as still as a dropped bar of lead, yet as soft as a springtime butterfly.”
She scored a perfect 10, the ultimate. But to the surprise and awe of spectators, officials and myself, she went ahead and executed the optional, second vault. Incredibly, the result was the same again: a perfect 10.
The only two individuals not surprised were Mary Lou Retton and her coach, Bela Karolyi. He had told her just before her performance: “You’re my little American gold medal winner!”
In an interview, I heard her remark that her self-talk leading up to those two perfect vaults went something like this: “Relax. Concentrate. Thanks for all the car pools, Mom. This vault’s for you. Speed. Explode. Extend. Nail the landing. This is your moment in history. Need a 10, got a 10. Just like practice. Let’s go!”

***

Besides the powerful and obvious reminder: "Winners work at doing things the rest of the population won’t even consider trying" -which I love!-, this article made me think about something else as well. After reading it I looked up Mary Lou Retton on Google and came across an article titled: "Living beyond the illusion of disability".
It stated how many of us are captives, prisoners within the limitations of our own abilities or disabilities. It wasn't just talking about natural or physical disability, like not being able to move the left side of our body, or being very short or having just undergone a surgery, like Mary Lou. It was also talking about the limitations we put on ourselves -mental ones-. It caught my eye, since just today I thought while sitting in Economy class: "How on Earth am I supposed to understand this shit about Economy and how screwed up it is when I don't know much about it firsthand? This teacher is going too fast, argh, besides(prepare for pathetic), I'm just sixteen."
Taaran! I found a self-imposed limitation. It shouldn't be there. But there it is many times so I need to eradicate it.
I think accomplishment has a lot to do with:
1. Working hard
2.Faith. What we believe ourselves to be capable of.
And though it may not be much at times, or nothing at all, Jesus doesn't think so. When we say: "I'm crap." He says: "I love you". And when we say "I can't do it" He says "I can and I'll do it with you"
I'm going to comprehend and learn what my economy teacher talks about without my mind getting lost amongst the facts, terms and examples -determined lil grin-.

"Dear restless heart"

I hadn't found a poem that fit my life, feelings and needs so perfectly till now.

Dear restless heart, be still; don’t fret and worry so;
God has a thousand ways His love and help to show;
Just trust, and trust, and trust, until His will you know.

Dear restless heart, be still, for peace is God’s Own smile,
His love can every wrong and sorrow reconcile;
Just love, and love, and love, and calmly wait awhile.

Dear restless heart, be brave; don’t moan and sorrow so,
He has a meaning kind in chilly winds that blow;
Just hope, and hope, and hope, until you braver grow.

Dear restless heart, recline upon His breast this hour,
His grace is strength and life, His love is bloom and flower;
Just rest, and rest, and rest, within His tender power.

Dear restless heart, be still! Don’t struggle to be free;
God’s life is in your life, from Him you may not flee;
Just pray, and pray, and pray, till you have faith to see.

—Edith Willis Linn, “Streams in the Desert”

Thinking of better days

Sometimes I get into thinking:
"I can't wait for this and that to happen", "If only I had just the one to share my whole life with!", "When I get better at doing this or that I'll be so happy!".
It's like putting off happiness, waiting for better days to knock and enter my doorstep.
Why don't I make the better days now?
If I remember that joy and sorrow, good and bad, pretty and ugly accompany us all the while, no matter our ages, state or season, frankly this season can be the best!
There's no reason why I can't have the best of times now. Surely things aren't perfect, circumstances have a knack for changing. And the times I wish I were exactly on the other side of the world with someone just for a few hours, makes me realize that I'd want more, and that with human nature circumstances and conditions won't ever be enough.
So am I gonna let my dreams come true and pass me by because I was reaching out to some other new longing and desire, some other new thing I didn't have?
Will I fail to enjoy my dreams that have already come true today simply because they don't include every single one I want?
If I do, that just makes me ridiculously bratty and so sadly, blind. Honestly I don't know which one's worse.
Let me tell you some about my dreams come true:
~I've got wonderful friends who genuinely care about me, love me and wish to see me succeed.
~I'm with my family: two siblings, mom and dad.
~I have Jesus, fulfiller of dreams, and I know that whatever takes time or doesn't happen here on Earth, there's eternity in Heaven where all dreams do come true.

On the same topic, I'm going to University! Not exactly in my list of dreams for long at all, but it means that my dream of playing a part to have more English literature translated to Spanish can come true, and that perhaps I'll be an useful interpreter one day -grins-!

So darling Jesus, I want to enjoy every step I take and make the better days today! I commit to doing so with your hands touching my heart and opening my eyes helping me to see things as they truly are.
Thank you for all that you are and do! Can't thank you enough.
Thank you!

Colorful

Life looks pink very few times, but who wants pink when there's a whole array of beautiful colors and hues?

Looking back

I was thinking back on last year trying to remember what June 2009 was like. I couldn't remember much, but my negative memories had prominence over the positive ones. It made me feel bad because I know good things took place, probably great ones, I just couldn't remember. I know I had happy days along with the struggles.
The thing is, I think we have months or times in our lives when nothing really outstanding happens; but there is the daily grind of forging ahead, feeling hit by waves of emotions, trying not to drown, and somehow in it all, enjoy the ride. There's all the falls, and when one looks back on it, it's not a happy memory.
But I need to change my perspective, because it's cause of those times that I'm here today, and I know I'm better for it. I'm stronger and better able to face that challenges of today.
And about the strong, flying, firing, draining emotions, I've learned it is possible to have a hand on them.
It's possible to be at peace in the midst of the storm, it's possible to get up after every fall...and be happy while at it. All that is needed is to look up.
Jesus is the best psychologist, and He can tell you what to do. He beats the best, best friend -and believe me cause I've got a great one!- He knows just what to do, and has all the power in the universe to make things right again. He just needs our trust, and as we give him time, walk ahead holding his hand, He does all that and more.
He's seriously pro at that, making things right.
I don't know how to handle life, but He does, and that's enough. Like the writer Anne Rice said, "if He knows everything, I don't need to know everything".

"There was the sense, profound and wordless, that if He knew everything I did not have to know everything, and that, in seeking to know everything, I’d been, all of my life, missing the entire point."

What I love about uncertainty

I'm uncertain, but I've never been this sure.
Sure that I'm loved, sure that He's with me on it.
Sure that I have no idea of what comes next.
Sure that things change and are never the same...
Sure that I don't have forever to be with the people I love, but there's never a goodbye that's true, cause I'll see you again.
Sure that with each step on thin air, He's taking me somewhere -where he wants me to go- and that is worth the uncertainty to me.
If at times I break down and forget, tell me to stop looking down and to look ahead. Isn't that what birds do?
I'm not a bird, but I have Him. And isn't that a million times better than having your own wings?
I'd die if I didn't have you all the time Jesus. Dead, yes. Thanks for keeping me alive, keeping me awake, thanks for giving me sight, thanks for holding my hand, thanks for surrounding me with your arms at night, thanks for making me laugh, thanks for kissing me sweet, holding my face in your hands and telling me as many times as I need to hear that all is okay.
I don't think I've ever been so in love with you..

Patience

I just read that patience is one of the most satisfying fruits of the Holy Spirit -warm smile-
"But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect & entire, wanting nothing."
-James 1:4

More mistakes

Most of us hate mistakes -wholeheartedly! The thought of being wrong, of blowing it again.
Yet I was remembering, while I sat on a green sofa with all intentions to study for my coming Philosophy test, how many people who have lived life fully become pretty carefree. There was a man who once said: "If I could live again, I'd try to make more mistakes (Here you have my wide eyes). I'd relax more. I'd climb more mountains. Swim across more rivers. Pick more daisies. I'd suffer more real problems and less imaginary ones."
I realize I am afraid of making mistakes, the big ones that you can't fix. Or the little stupid ones that mess up things and ruin them. Then I think, "thank God that my decisions or bad decisions at that, don't affect so many others; thank God that I don't have big responsibilities hinging on the outcome of those. It'd be very different if I had kids to look after for instance..."
I feel it's safer to make mistakes now, because I don't have heavy responsibilities. But I think I'll spend all of my life learning that mistakes are good for me, cause if not, how would you have me learn?
The man's name was Don Herold, and he wanted to make more mistakes.
I guess he wanted to learn more -from them.

My two pockets

There is a happy soul whose home is the Other End of Nowhere. He has two pockets. One has a hole in it and the other is carefully watched that no hole develops in it. Everything that he hears of a hurtful nature--insult, cutting remark, gossip, unclean suggestion, or any such thing--he writes on a piece of paper and sticks it into his pocket with the hole. Everything which he hears that is kind, true, and helpful, he writes on a piece of paper and puts it in the pocket without the hole.
At night he turns out all that is in the pocket without the hole, goes over all that he had put into it during the day, and thoroughly enjoys all the good things that have come his way that day.Then he sticks his hand into the pocket with the hole and finds nothing there, so he laughs and rejoices that there are no evil things to rehearse.
Too many of us reverse the other, putting the evil things in the pocket without the hole so that we can mull over them again and again, and the good things in the pocket with the hole so that they are quickly forgotten. Paul's way was: "Whatsoever things are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, whatever is admirable ...think on these things." (Philippians 4:8) -F.W. Boreham

I need to put things in the right pockets...take out the scissors to make the hole in the right one.