The Oil Lamp

A little tea pot with water and cinnamon sticks was on the stove. My cinnamon tea in the making,  I looked at the boiling water with the intention of turning it off so I could go upstairs and spend some time in God's Word. The time I gave Him in the morning ended very quickly. I had different things to do which occupied my time and now I was here, thinking and thanking Him for the things yet to do. 
I was about to turn the stove off when He stopped me.
"Wait. What do you see there?"
"A flame..."
"What does it tell you?"
"Hummmm? What does it tell me? -stares- ...Source! The flame has a source, the gas burns!"
"Let Me be your source." He answered. "Let Me be the one that burns, because if you try to do it, you'll burn out."
I stared on, taking it in.
I remembered that letter from grandpa, talking about a lamp -one of those old ones- with wicks and oil. He wrote:

"We need to learn to save the first place in our hearts and lives and time for Jesus. We belong to Him first of all, and the first place must belong to Him-for rest and prayer and fellowship with Jesus, and for feeding from His Word. We cannot do the Master’s work without the Master’s power-and to get it, we must spend time with the Master. Then we must let Him do the work through us. Many people give their needs and problems to the Lord in prayer, but then turn around and try to meet those needs and solve those problems on their own, without depending on the Lord to work on their behalf.
        We ought to take a lesson from the oil lamp: It must be the oil that burns and not the wick, for if the wick burns without oil, it will destroy itself. We must immerse ourselves in Jesus and let Him burn to light the way, because if we try to do that ourselves, we’ll soon burn out.
        So stop trying to do the work yourself, and let God do it. Let go and let God!

The flame of the lamp burns so beautifully and brightly and clearly when the oil burns, but it gets smoky and stinky when just the wick burns. The lamp’s wick must be deeply immersed in the oil. Most of the wick is in the oil, and only a tiny tip of it is exposed to the air and the flame. That way, it’s mostly oil that burns and very little of the wick-almost none. The oil flows freely through a wick that is deeply soaked in the oil. Then it is the oil that burns and not the wick, and it gives bright, pure, clear light.
“It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me” (Galatians 2:20). It is not I that burn, but Christ must burn within me. You can be a beautiful wick, but you’ll burn black with too little oil. You must soak yourself in the oil, so you burn not, but He burns through you. Then you’ll give pure light, smokeless light, clear light, beautiful light to all that are in the house (Matthew 5:15-16).
When I was a boy, they had beautiful kerosene lamps in every home, on every table. They had lovely glass bowls for the oil, so you could see their wicks and the level of the oil and knew when to replenish them. The lamp burned best when full of oil. When the level got low, too much of the wick would be out of the oil for the wick to be thoroughly soaked. Then the wick itself would begin to burn faster, and the lamp would give off smoke. We sometimes try too hard, work too hard, and try to do everything ourselves. To paraphrase the chorus of an old Gospel song:

Let go and let God have His wonderful way,
Let go and let God have His way.
He’ll fill with His Spirit and burn day by day.
Let go and let God have His way!

Most people don’t know much about oil lamps anymore, but something that everyone can relate to is a water faucet. When you turn on a faucet, is the faucet “working”? No, it’s not! The faucet is doing nothing. It’s pressure behind the water that causes it to flow through the faucet. All you do is turn the handle on the faucet, and the water flows out with effortless ease. The faucet is just the channel, just a hole, to let the water out. You say the faucet’s working? The faucet is not working. It’s the water pressure that is doing the work. The faucet is just letting it flow. The power isn’t in the faucet; the power comes from the gravity feed or pump. The pump or the weight of the water in a tank creates pressure in the water pipe, so all you have to do is turn the tap to release it, and out it flows. You’re like the faucet; the Lord is the water pressure. Just open the faucet and let it flow!
So stop trying to do the work yourself, and let God do it. Let go and let God! Just let the Lord through. Let the oil burn. Let the water flow. Let the Lord do it!"

Grandpa, 

The Oil Lamp

Something awesome is that a new friend gave Kevin and I a beautiful mug, large, olive green and with brown letters that say "Let Go, and Let God", precisely! Kevin let me keep it and now I'm thinking that mugs with such notes to drink in daily are the best presents!

Recipe to help perfectionists: Just praise!

Written by Ann Voskamp

“You’ve gotten over that nasty spell of perfectionism?”

I’m surprised too.

“I guess it’s just coming to realize…” I lean back into him and I didn’t know the words until they slipped out true,

“God doesn’t ask me to be perfect; He asks me to praise.”

I don’t have to have smudgeless windows and empty laundry baskets and gleamy toilet bowls! I don’t have to have a perfect life, all problems solved! I think I hear the Hallelujah chorus!

I simply need to have a grateful heart to give Him glory.

Gratitude in all things is the only thing God asks.

 ~

So the recipe for my malady simply is to praise. 
I left my lunch in the kitchen table when I ran out the door, but thank you Jesus for money in my wallet to buy something nice to eat. 
I coughed on my way to school, thank you Jesus that it's just a temporary cold! 
I found out I had forgotten a writing assignment that I had taken a long time to write, thank you Jesus that I had the draft in my notebook and the rest in my head, and time between classes to write it again.
Third thing forgotten, a presentation for my history class! Jesus thank you for reminding me early in the morning and supplying the means and time to prepare it! You're so sweet, Jesus! 
Thank you for kind teachers, for hugs given with our faces apart 'cause I have a cold, and people's smiles shared on the hallway. 
Thank you Jesus for your Word and for the books piled on my night table. As well as all those crazy beautiful crystal rain drops shining on pine trees that I saw today.
I love you, Jesus.
Thank you for making me imperfect, yet I'm your beloved, beautiful bride. 

The timeless treasure

I think back on the week and wonder what I did and it's like I look at my hands and don't have much to show for it. "What did I do with my time?" I question myself. 

I review the week's happenings, straining to remember where time went. Conferences, a free day, a seemingly useless morning in school, English classes, going to church. I feel anxious at the thought of not having done more with all the unusual free time I had this week. And I wonder how I'll be able to fit in new projects this month if I don't even know where my free time went this week...

My stomach feels uneasy. 

"You gave time to others", it startles me. "Did I...?"

"More than usual"

I start feeling comforted as flashes of time spent talking, connecting with, and writing people and loved ones cross my mind. I watched TV with my dad, it was just a half hour, but I hadn't done that for that long in ages. My sister and I talked in the kitchen. My English students and I spent an extra half hour together talking and snacking on chips. I gave of myself in a new place too, this week. I don't watch movies often because I think of my to-do list and feel I don't have the time...but this weekend I watched a wonderful movie titled "Courageous", and mom and I cried together. Concerning someone, I didn't even think I had any forgiving to do but not only did I realize it, I made a huge leap in forgiving them. 

Surely there are many things I wish I had done this week. But I think it's important to realize that not everything that counts can be counted. 

Time will never come to knock on my doorstep and say "I'm here!" So perhaps what I need to do in weeks like this, every day really, is to thank God for my health and capability to do what I did do, my lessons on work ethic learned from the time I didn't spend right, and thank Him for the precious, priceless  time spent connecting with my loved ones. And thank Him that He helped me to not trade that treasure for a minuscule accomplishment or gain that I can't take with me to eternity. 

Thank you, Jesus.