Carving a living dream

Sweet Jesus, Thank you for 2011.

2012-01-01T21:00:00.008-08:00

A letter to Jesus

As I look back at the pictures that form in my head --all of things that came by this year, that I was a part of, that changed me, that changed others, that made me what I'm today, I feel myself breathing tranquilly by being reassured that you really know what to bring along.

Not everything was peaches and cream this last year, some things were plain ol’ mud and poop. There were times when I questioned your art and skill at writing my life’s story, “You’re ruining everything!” I cried. “Please be careful.” Ah but you knew all along. Thank you for not taking me out of the situation but instead helping me through it. I gained, discovered and learned so many things down that path. And what stands out the most is your love, your tender, deep, abiding, unconditional, caring, saving love. Nothing can save me like you do, nobody can make me feel as loved, secure, accompanied, understood, happy and well as you do. So well! It’s more than the feelings you give me. It’s the faith, the grace, the fulfillment, the power and love that makes it not just worth it all, but make me willing and desirous to do anything to have and keep it!

When I wake up in the morning, it’s for You that I want to be a better person. You give me so many gifts that I want to show you my thankfulness by living a life that makes You proud.

Thank you for everything this year, Jesus. Because the good and the bad, the lovely and the ugly, the joyous and the disheartening all translated into making me feel your love more than ever before.

Thank you for being at the helm of my ship, at the steering wheel in my car. Thank you for being the writer of my story. Thank you for knowing best and for not getting angry at me when I doubt that you do. But instead You call me, take me in your arms, and give me exactly what I need and in the way I need it to help my faith hang in there and believe that you have My best interests at heart. Thank you so much for that.

It’s a fact I couldn’t breathe without You, love without You or be happy without You. So thank you for every breath…an average of 10,541,200 this year? Probably much more, I mean, I did experience lots of exciting things this year, but we'd also have to subtract the moments that took my breath away!

All in all thank you for a well-rounded full year! I have so many things to thank you for!

Thank you for speaking to me.

Thank you for proving to me this year that there is no prayer too small or too big for you, by answering both! (Like when the bus passes by just on time, or when I asked you to bring my parents back together and give them a better marriage than they’ve ever have. It definitely felt like I was asking you to take me to live to Mars)

Thank you for helping me with university, for helping me to learn, to have good grades and to enjoy myself along the way! All of it is thanks to you! Thank you for my scholarship and for my loving parents who support and pay for my studies.

Thank you so much for the opportunity to be part of an awesome team to change lives in particular places and times, while also carrying that spark back to my place and city.

Thank you for the privilege of loving and being loved by the guy who takes my breath away, who’s my partner in crime (bombarding the gates of Hell) and who makes me laugh more than any comedian (he’s not a comedian by the way).

Thank you so much for the time I spent with him this year. I treasure every little second of it! Thank you for making me the lucky girl who gets to love him with all her heart! And who gets to receive his love too! Thank You, Jesus, for being the love we have.

Thank you for bringing new people along my path, that became new friends.

Thank you for bringing me closer to old dear friends.

Thank you for giving me an amazing summer with my girlies.

Thank you for the privilege of seeing my best friend so happy, thank you for being her happiness and thank you for Keith!

Thank you for answering my prayer of giving Esther the right man (I started praying two years ago). She’s in South Africa with him right now.

Thank you for the strength, encouragement, love and help that you gave me through my dear friends!

Thank you for Windy and the inspiration she is to me!

Thank you for each of my friends and how they make me feel loved and appreciated for who I am.

Thank you for teaching me to appreciate life much more, that of others and mine as well. My baby could’ve died falling three stories down; but you protected him mightily and I believe you healed the unthinkable while he lay on the ground.

Thank you for your protection! Thank you for the amazing miracles of healing, supply and strength that you did for Kevin when the accident happened and during the months he spent recovering.

Thank you for mom, dad, Nina and Adrian, their presence, love, funny ways, different personalities and ways of interacting that make life with them interesting, enjoyable and a real learning and tuning experience.

Thank you for Sandy and for experiencing much of life with her!

Thank you for my friends in school.

Thank you for the opportunity to pray with and for people, trust you for the miracles and sometimes get to see them right away!

Thank you for the gift of giving to and hugging the needy.

Thank you for a grand year!

Can you believe it, Jesus? I actually wanna go back as if it were the end of a good movie or gripping book to experience little snippets of it again. Even some of the bad parts because I know that in the end it all turned out great (since the main character is better off and has learned much more and so have the people around her). It's those kinds of parts that bring the climax and make the story deep and meanigful in the end. Thank you, Jesus.

I'm honestly crazy excited that the sequels continues TODAY, 1st of January, 2012.

Christmas imperfection

2011-12-16T08:59:00.004-08:00

Following is a beautiful reflection written by Windy. It touched me.

Do you wish for perfection?

"We may not be perfect, things and people may not be perfect, situations or events may not be perfect… and yet, isn’t that a great part of what the celebration of Christmas is all about?

A loving father looked upon his beautiful creation–his children–yet realizing their own faults and shortcomings and that emptiness and longing for love and forgiveness that each one had, he sent his Perfect son, Jesus to a world full of imperfections.

The woman who would be his mother was in a pretty imperfect state to have a baby.

The timing for his birth couldn’t have been more imperfect.

A stable to call his first home, a manger as his first crib, tattered cloths as his first garments, and animal noises as his first lullaby. Nothing close to perfect I would say.

Yet the biggest miracle of Christmas is that He broke through those imperfections, He used them as a testimony that God doesn’t need perfection to bring his love, hope and salvation to the world. In fact, from what I see, He is quite fond of using odd and totally bizarre circumstances and turning them into something beautiful, something everlasting. I guess I could some that all up as: God loves to use broken things."

Oh, Christmas is near!

2011-12-16T08:41:00.007-08:00

The joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others’ burdens, easing other’s loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of Christmas.—W. C. Jones

A mother’s love for her baby boy

A sacrifice to bring others joy

A father’s care for one not his own

A message sent from a royal throne

A seeming wrong that was turned to right

An angel’s song in the dark of night

A prophet’s vision at last fulfilled

A miracle because God had willed

A gift of love from a caring heart

A bringing together what was apart

A reaching out to comprehend

How another felt by a sincere friend

A seeking soul that journeyed far

To find a dream, to follow a star

A bridegroom claiming a bride as his

All these things are what Christmas is.—Ian Bach

This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone.—Taylor Caldwell

Somehow not only for Christmas

But all the long year through,

The joy that you give others

Is the joy that comes back to you.

—John Greenleaf Whittier

Whatever else be lost among the years,

Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing;

Whatever doubts assail us, or what fears,

Let us hold close one day, remembering

Its poignant meaning for the hearts of men.

Let us get back our childlike faith again.—Grace Noll Crowell

My donut principle

2011-12-02T20:32:00.010-08:00

At the end of an Italian exam, my teacher told me the following in his native tongue: "If you feel sad, a little sad, be positive! Think positively because God has given you much talent!" I was surprised at his words and thanked him. Those words couldn’t have come at a better moment.

How did my Italian teacher, whom I only see at the end of the week, know that I had been struggling these days with darkened thoughts and needing to be more positive?

I consider myself a generally positive person and lots of people tell me that is part of who they know me to be. But lately, oh that’s a different story. You know when you find something wrong with nearly everything and everyone around you, except a few blessed souls? When people become irritating beyond what you thought they could be? And even though they’re doing something insignificant it bothers you? Well it had happened a lot in school, and I had been critical for way too long and it was affecting my interactions with people, my mood and my performance. I was annoyed. I told Jesus to help me and I could see myself slowly progressing.

Then my Italian teacher, with his simple encouraging words, reminded me of the donut principle. And that when I focus on the donut and not on the hole…

1. My perspective shifts from the problems to the solutions and possibilities.

2. I find myself doing things with gusto, remembering what they’re for.

3. I’m happier.

4. I’m able to do more in less time or if not, I simply do a much better job!

6. I don’t shy away from difficulties knowing that I have a great God who can help me learn and rise above them!

7. I face challenges head on.

5. I can give my all, and isn’t that what I want? Life is life and it passes away!

And I’m sure there are countless benefits found from looking on the donut and not on the hole!

Jesus, thank you so much for your heavenly reminders and messengers that work as angels on this Earth. Thank you for my Italian teacher, thank you for knowing me so well and never failing to give me just what I need. Thank you so much for Windy, and how her faith-filled attitide while encountering difficulties encourages my faith! Thank you so much for Sandy, who with her set-on-being-positive-no-matter-what attitude inspires me to do the same! Bless her Jesus, she is such a sample to follow! Did you know she is taking charge of a big house, two sisters, her school work as well as countless details that show up? Yes and looking at the donut and not on the hole. It was great seeing you today, ma cherie!

Best friends have a way to shift your perspective from the ground to the dancing sunlight of Jesus’ strong, everlasting love. Thank you so much Jesus!

Happy Birthday dear Mr. Dieter!

2011-09-17T23:52:00.008-07:00

June 2o1o

Jesse,
I'm so excited that you're turning 18! It seems just a few months ago that I met you while we were funky, happy thirteen year-olds.
I just want to tell you how special you are to me. You know I don't like keeping it to myself till your birthday arrives, but I can't miss the opportunity today to remind you why!

Your friendly smile has always had a way of comforting me. It's so accepting!
I really admire how faithful you are at doing things for others around the house, it shows your big heart and your disposition. You're also very determined to do what you must do and to give life your best shot! I love that about you!
I love it how you're that rare guy who picks up a drooping soul telling that girl something like "You look beautiful this morning!" and making her day. I love your witty way of saying things. I always loved and appreciated your hugs.
I miss how you'd look at me with your eyes squinted from way up above -we all know you're tall- and I'd give you my best evil look. Great times! I MISS YOU JESS!
Your girlfriend has really got the lucks for getting such an amazing guy as yourself!
I can't tell you that I wish you the best. I wish you the BEST of the BEST! And I pray that the best, purest, most wonderful kinds of joy fill your life! I pray that you have the best opportunitues! I pray that you never lose sight of the Man who has your dreams, aspirations and purpose in His hands. I pray that every day you live gets better and that you can sometimes stop, look at a pile of books, a horse or across the table and think "Goodness Jesus, You LOVE ME SO MUCH!"
He truly does!
I love you Jess!
Thanks for being you. You deserve the best Mr. Dieter!
Happy Birthday!!

Darkness into light

2011-08-28T19:59:00.003-07:00

I’ve found a refuge from life’s cares in Jesus,

I’m hiding in His love divine;

He fully understands my soul’s deep longing,

And He whispers softly, “Thou art Mine.”

Only Jesus! Only Jesus!

Only He can satisfy;

Every burden becomes a blessing,

When I know my Lord is nigh.

I’ve found a precious joy in knowing Jesus,

Never dreamed of in this world of woe;

No clouds, however dark, can dim the radiance

Of the heavenly light He doth bestow.

I’ve found a blessed hope divine in Jesus,

’Tis a Day Star ever shining bright;

It fills my earthly way with heavenly glory,

And it turns life’s darkness into light.

Exactly what we need

2011-07-27T22:02:00.009-07:00

"It's amazing how the Lord always give you exactly what you need and more, and sometimes we don't realize it but, even those problems and battles we go through are his way of telling us he loves us. Because he knows the bigger person we'll become because of them.

Isn't he the best?
He knows us and what we need better than we'll ever know!"

This is a little message that Sandy sent me tonight and the reason I share it with all of you is because maybe you're like me and need to know that the so-called bad is in fact good in disguise sent by a loving God who -and I will repeat- loves us.
We're not dressing up the bad with apparel that makes it look nice, we're not being blind optimists, we're looking at things as they really are. We're looking at a God who loves us, who created the world, charted our lives and knows the course. So the problems -ranging from the annoyance younger siblings cause when they get into your things, to big fears about the future, financial struggles, a loved one who is sick, to have to do something you really don't want to do- well, any problem in the end is Heaven-sent.
Yes, I know. I said it. -Takes a deep breath- Here I go again:

Problems are Heaven-sent.
-smiles-

Sandy is an angel. You can't imagine how much I admire her, you gotta meet her sometime.

She's such a fighter! I love the bold, determined look in her eye when she's set on doing something. I've seen it there when she's about to or is doing something hard that she knows is worth it.
I really love and greatly appreciate the way she says, in more than one way, how everything's alright and will get better all the time!
Her life is a living testimony of loving when you don't feel like it and taking on what life brings knowing that there's a Divine pitcher who's directing every single circumstance that comes into her life and she just has to bat them with all she's got. I'm so proud of her as she runs to base, and of the many homeruns she hits!
That girl is a victor because she doesn't give in to Mr. defeat that says "Oh yes, I want to be part of your life."
She's a victor because she continues to look to Jesus come what may, and you know what? Jesus has never failed her. Why should He fail her now?
I'm so proud of her.

"Be joyful always"

2011-07-04T15:20:00.013-07:00

I was lying in bed, reading a great book by Stormie Omartian titled: “Praying God’s will for your life”.
In it, I read “Be joyful always” (Thessalonians 5:16). Those words danced in front of me. As I thought about them, I smiled and started thanking and praising Jesus for how He makes me smile and causes me to sing and puts light in my eyes even in the midst of very trying circumstances! Who else can do that?!
I then looked over to my colorful quote box, I put my hand in and you won’t imagine what I found! It said:

“Do you know that I see every tear, I feel every heartache, I understand every trial? I understand it all, and I have the antidote too. So please don’t hesitate to tell Me whenever you feel a bit down, okay? I will send whatever will fill the void, and relieve that little trial or ache or unpleasant feeling –for it is My desire that you are happy each and every day. –Jesus”

Wow! I know He loves me but He makes me stand and stare in awe every time He lets me know once more!
Not only is He with us through all of life’s trials, but He gives us peace in the middle of the storm. When my heart could break into a million pieces it’s only Him who holds it together and helps me to believe that everything is in His hands and that He will work things out for our greater good. On top of that He goes out of His way to make me happy throughout the day. He always does so, it’s just that many times I fail to notice.

While thinking about this, I remembered that talking to Kevin last night my mom came over and told him: “It’s so good to see you smiling and happy!” To which Kevin responded with another of his adoring huge smiles and said: “There isn’t a reason to not be happy!”
Now mind you, Kevin was coming out of a fever right then and his nose was clogged. He can’t walk for the time being and has just been able to use his arm again after wearing a cast for 2 months. He’s away from his friends, he’s cooped up in his room, he can’t go out to work or help around the house like he usually does; and being the helpful, outdoor, people person, go-getter that he is, this would make it especially difficult and would be reason enough to wear a frown. But instead, Kevin chooses to smile, to be joyful always. He chooses to look at the fact that he’s with his parents and younger brother, he has true friends and loved ones who love him loads and are praying for him, he’s making the most of his time by pressing in on school. And he’s garnering riches and treasures from the cave of this experience that he knows he probably wouldn’t gain any other way. He walks with a happy tune playing in his heart, which then comes out of his lips and encourages many. He encourages me tremendously!

“Be joyful always” yes, Jesus tells us to be so but He never asks us to do anything alone.
It’s amazing that He gives us every reason possible to be happy and grateful. Feel your heartbeat for a few seconds. It’s rhythmic and beautiful. I’m sure you can have many other things to be joyful about. Jesus says that He loves you and has a grand purpose for your life. He says He’ll help you fulfill your dreams. And He won’t leave you alone, when everyone else walks out He stays there, as He always has, and gives you the courage to start again.
He doesn't just give us strength through the joy of the Lord, but He gives us the strength to be joyful always.

"The joy of the Lord is your strength." -Nehemiah 8:10

Clay

2011-06-15T11:48:00.001-07:00

Jesus, I'm your clay. Take me and make something beautiful out of me, whatever you wish and in whatever way you wish to do it. I trust you on that. I love you and thank you that I always have you to hold.

"Spirit of the living God,

Fall afresh on me!
Break me, melt me,
Mold me, use me,
Spirit of the loving God,
Fall afresh on me!"
-Daniel Iverson.

What He sees

2011-05-07T00:24:00.004-07:00

"Nothing can be hidden from My love. It searches and reaches into the very depths of your being and sees all. But that doesn't change My love for you; it makes Me love you all the more in a way that you could never understand. You see your faults; I see your love for Me. You see your failings; I see the times you persevere and make it." -Jesus

Mind-blowing

2011-04-03T01:04:00.003-07:00

Doesn't it seem illogical that a flower can sprout from a hard insignificant seed? Maybe not, because we've seen it happen hundreds of times.
But then why do we find it illogical that the good can come out of the bad? That with Jesus we can have joy intsead of mourining and beauty for ashes. Why is it so hard for our minds to comprehend that in the same way that the honey results from the squeezing, the perfume from the crushing and the dawn follows the night, so the good and greater things come as a result of the so called bad?
That's something I want to have a complete turn around in, a change and ajustment of my mentaility. I know it won't be overnight. Going back to the example of the seed, the flower will take the time it needs to grow. But doesn't it make you smile?
All kinds of trees, fruits, flowers, the shelter and nest they offer can result from the planting of a seed.
Let's allow Jesus to plant those dark, hard, cold seeds into our lives. Let's allow Him to prepare the ground in the soil of our hearts even if it hurts us, distabalizes us, messes up our plans and shakes what we had in mind. If God plants the seed, He has a greater plan in mind than the best one we could ever come up with in our best day. Not to mention that He sees past, present and future. My, I love Him!
I'm glad I'm not ruling my life. I'm so glad He takes control. I'm happy for the twists that life naturally makes, the storms, the heavy rain, the winds, the shaking and the pouring of tears. That doesn't just happen. Someone is orchestrating it all. And mind you, I'm exceedingly happy (even if I always have to make a conscious effort to remember) that the orchestrator is Jesus, Creater of the universe and My husband. Another mind-blower, He picked me! And He picked you!

Celebrating who you are

2011-03-09T20:34:00.005-08:00

You're my sister, you're my friend, you're one who supports me with prayer, a soldier that fights by my side. You're this not just to me, but to everybody else.
You're smiles and you're love
You fight to give your best every single day
You're an encourager
You're a follower and you're a leader,
You take play and work seriously
You're a reflection of unfathomable wonders
You're a determined individual
You're gentle, yet you're firm
You make those around you have a laughing time!
You leave every single person who meets you a little better than before.
You make Jesus feel real because so much of Him is embodied in you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WINDY!

I wish you an unforgettable, adventurous year in which you forge ahead undaunted by the waves, discovering the treasure chests of dreams come true and being in love with He who can be your ALL. I admire you Windy! Thank you for inspiring me. Thank you for all that you are! I'm really, really thankful for you.
I'm seeing you soon!

Best interests at heart

2011-01-20T18:37:00.002-08:00

From Jesus with Love

I have your best interests at heart. Everything that has happened to you, or will yet happen to you, or hasn’t happened to you, has all been according to My plan. You haven’t been forgotten, missed, skipped over, neglected, or any of the terrible lies that the Enemy might whisper to you. You’re right where I want you, and being in the center of My will is what will always bring you the greatest joy.

Just being human

2011-01-17T20:02:00.004-08:00

“Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.”—Al Franken

Thank you so much for sending me this quote Jesus, especially today!

Sandy

2011-01-13T21:38:00.000-08:00

"My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.—The one to whom I can say, “I like me best when I’m with you.”—Unknown

He goes for the impossible cases

2011-01-13T15:44:00.008-08:00

-Clip from "Dreamer" (2006)-

God specializes in making the impossible work.
If you feel like you're the runner with the disadvantages. Maybe a mare, of which none have won the race before. Perhaps you've gotten hurt and don't feel fit for the run. Or very few people or none believe you can make it. Let me tell you that God believes you can and that He'll cause the unbelievers to drop their mouths open! He can turn the disadvantages of whatever situation into victories and cause what others believed to be impossible, become possible.
Think about David and Goliath. Young, inexperienced, inadequately armed David going to face a giant of three meters tall who is a veteran warrior. Talk about odds and risks. Now, remember who won?
I've got an impossible situation, and I know there will always be one or many in my life. But I'm comforted with the fact that Jesus goes for the impossible cases! -And He does because those demonstrate His enormous power.
There's nothing too hard for Jesus. After all, He made the universe out of nothing! And He loves to do the impossible! He loves overwhelming us with His love and power, He loves to awe us and show us how well cared for we are. He loves showing us who is Boss and Who can do all things! All we need to do is believe and keep the faith when everything around us looks dead wrong. That's the hard part, but it's worth it if we wanna see the miracle.

“Faith does not operate in the realm of the possible. There is no glory for God in that which is humanly possible. Faith begins where man’s power ends.” -George Mueller

What truly matters

2011-01-12T21:58:00.010-08:00

Today I talked to a man, who has been a friend, a mentor and a former teacher of mine. He told me he had blown it really bad, that all of his long hours at work, doing all he could to reach a higher level of living had been futile cause now in the state he was in, having money didn't matter at all. Possessions meant little to him, he couldn't care less for the material things and it showed. But he grasped on to a little book with Jesus' words and trusted that "This will help me on!"
In the end that's all that will.
In the end, love is what matters most.
His misty eyes told me this is a reality I must keep for life. Yet another reminder, thank you Sweet Love.

"Worry about"

2011-01-11T20:51:00.007-08:00

In bed I kept thinking: "what if this happens? And then this person does this and the other feels that? No! What did I get into?! Why does this have to be happening?!"

Jesus: There's no need for you to be worrying about that.
I looked startled, thought about it and then asked in a final tone, "Then what should I be worrying about?"
Jesus: Worry that I won't take care of you.
Now I had a confused look. "But what is there to worry about in that?!"
Jesus: Exactly. NOTHING!

There's nothing to worry about.

My smile had grown by the minute and I realized pathetic little me had to stop worrying.
At last!

Thank you Jesus for my sight!

2011-01-10T18:07:00.004-08:00

Sometimes I grumble about needing my glasses. They get in my way, they're unromantic, and they make me feel like I need to be careful rather than playful. But without them, the stars look fuzzy, loved faces meters away from mine look blurry and I'd surely end up waving frantically at a stranger thinking it's a friend.
I'm actually thankful for my gift of sight, Jesus. Increadibly thankful!
I'm thankful I can watch butterflies float by; the look of my mom's mouth wide open roaring with laughter and my dad's funny look while sitting next to her. I'm thankful I can see close to a hundred birds gather on phone wires and fly toward the horizon together. I'm thankful for the look of a couple in love dancing. The sight of my loved ones gliding through ice or stumbling a little. I love the sight of family or friends hugging each other!
I praise you Jesus for the gift of seeing happiness in the eyes of those I love. I praise you for how I can spot a dandelion and watch its dancing seeds fly away. (Even if it's into my mouth...Sandy!) I praise you for how I can see the Christmas lights shine and the manger scene make a child smile. Oh and the look of people's goofy faces! I praise you for the sight of words on paper or on a screen through which I keep in contact with friends far away, and I praise you for sight of the street that takes me to my best friend's home. Thank you for the sight of little kids with open arms running to me! And for the sight of the glistening moon in its many phases. Thank you for the sight of my sweet mom whose presence rules the kitchen, thank you for the sight of her beautiful hands and that of her head peeping in by the door to say: "I love you! Goodnight!". I praise you for the look of accomplishemnt in Adrian's face when he completes a drawing and likes his work or when he's concentrating on something. Thank you for the sight of Nina's curls, laughing face and the excited look she has when she comes to tell me something. Thank you for the sight of my dad's moustache, his hands at the wheel and the way he looks when he has kissed my hand. I praise you for the sight of the woods lighting up when the sun comes to greet them and the display of beauty when the sun says goodbye.
Not to mention the gift of touch, smell, taste or sound!
You've honestly made life great, beautiful, spiced up and intersting!
Thank you so much for my senses Jesus! I don't think I can properly thank you for things, but I'll keep enjoying them and I'll tell you more how appreciate them so, one at a time! It would be tragic to have one of my senses go missing and only then realize how blessed I am in being able to experience them to the full! 'Course, that's up to me. Help me, dear Love!

"Enjoy the little things‚ for they are the essence of life. Appreciate the senses I have given you; use them to their fullest. When you look, see. When you eat, taste. When you hear‚ listen. When you touch, feel. When you smell, let the scent fill your whole body. It is only when you take My blessings for granted that life loses its luster." -Jesus

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T13:06:00.008-08:00

Dear family, friends, and fellowmen,
To those who are lonely: may you find love, both earthly and everlasting.
To those who are loved: may that love grow as you share it with others.
To those who are longing: may your heart's desires be sated by the things that truly satisfy.
To those who are in need: may this year be the beginning of better times.
To those who hurt: may you find peace - first with yourself, and then with the world.
To those who are unsure: just keep it real, and let your integrity be its own reward.
And to one and all: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

-Written by David Salas,
a man I admire and love!

True love story

2010-12-28T16:12:00.004-08:00

"For You knew that Heaven’s touch

On this poor world would mean so much
So You lived and died, and rose to glory
To begin life’s deepest true love story"
-Bonita Hele

In One Blinding Moment

2010-12-24T01:41:00.008-08:00

My favorite Christmas stories this season Part 2

I'm sorry this story is a bit long, but it's worth the read! It made me think a lot. It touched my heart, it convicted me and also washed my vision. It made me think about my past, present and future. And it ended up making me cry out of thankfulness for love, and shame. Jesus, forgive me.
I'll let you read now.

By Max Ellerbusch

It was a busy Friday, six days before Christmas. I was in my instrument repair shop, working feverishly so that I could have all of the Christmas holiday at home with my family. Then the phone rang and a voice was saying that our five-year-old Craig had been hit by a car.
There was a crowd standing around him by the time I got there, but they stepped back for me. Craig was lying in the middle of the road; his curly blond hair was not even rumpled.
He died at Children’s Hospital that afternoon.
There were many witnesses. It had happened at the school crossing. They told us that Craig had waited on the curb until the safety-patrol boy signaled him to cross. Craig, how well you remembered! How often your mother called after you as you started off for kindergarten, “Don’t cross until you get the signal!” You didn’t forget!
The signal came, Craig stepped into the street. The car came so fast no one had seen it. The patrol boy shouted, waved, had to jump for his own life. The car never stopped.
Grace and I drove home from the hospital through the Christmas-lighted streets, not believing what had happened to us. It wasn’t until the night, passing the unused bed, that I knew. Suddenly I was crying, not just for that empty bed but for the emptiness, the seeming senselessness of it. All night long, with Grace awake beside me, I searched what I knew of life for some hint of a loving God at work in it, and found none.
As a child I certainly had been led to expect none. My father used to say that in all his childhood he did not experience one act of charity or Christian kindness. Father was an orphan, growing up in 19th-century Germany, a supposedly Christian land. Orphans were rented out to farmers as machines are rented today, and treated with far less consideration. He grew into a stern, brooding man who looked upon life as an unassisted journey to the grave.
He married another orphan and, as their own children started to come, they decided to emigrate to America. Father got a job aboard a ship; in New York harbor he went ashore and simply kept going. He stopped in Cincinnati where so many Germans were then settling. He took every job he could find, and in a year and a half had saved enough money to send for his family.
On the boat coming over, two of my sisters contracted scarlet fever; they died on Ellis Island. Something in Mother died with them, for from that day on she showed no affection for any living being. I grew up in a silent house, without laughter, without faith.
Later, in my own married life, I was determined not to allow these grim shadows to fall on our own children. Grace and I had four: Diane, Michael, Craig, and Ruth Carol. It was Craig, even more than the others, who seemed to lay low my childhood pessimism, to tell me that the world was a wonderful purposeful place. As a baby he would smile so delightedly at everyone he saw that there was always a little group around his carriage. When we went visiting it was Craig, three years old, who would run to the hostess to say, “You have a lovely house!” If he received a gift he was touched to tears, and then gave it away to the first child who envied it. Sunday morning when Grace dressed to sing in the choir, it was Craig who never forgot to say, “You’re beautiful.”
And if such a child can die, I thought as I struggled, lying in my bed that Friday night, if such a life can be snuffed out in a minute, then life is meaningless and faith in God is self-delusion. By morning my hopelessness and helplessness had found a target, a blinding hatred for the person who had done this to us. That morning police picked him up in Tennessee: George Williams. Fifteen years old.
He came from a broken home, police learned. His mother worked a night shift and slept during the day. Friday he had cut school, taken her car keys while she was asleep, sped down a street. … All my rage at a senseless universe seemed to focus on the name George Williams. I phoned our lawyer and begged him to prosecute Williams to the limit. “Get him tried as an adult. Juvenile court’s not tough enough.”
So this was my frame of mind when the thing occurred which changed my life. I cannot explain it; I can only describe it.
It happened in the space of time that it takes to walk two steps. It was late Saturday night. I was pacing the hall outside our bedroom, my head in my hands. I felt sick and dizzy, and tired, so tired. “Oh God,” I prayed, “show me why!”
Right then, between that step and the next, my life was changed. The breath went out of me in a great sigh—and with it all my sickness. In its place was a feeling of love and joy so strong it was almost pain.
Other men have called it the “the presence of Christ.” I’d known the phrase, of course, but I’d thought it was some abstract, theological idea. I never dreamed it was Someone, an actual Person, filling that narrow hall with love.
It was the suddenness of it that dazed me. It was like a lightning stroke that turned out to be the dawn. I stood blinking in an unfamiliar light. Vengefulness, grief, hate, anger—it was not that I struggled to be rid of them—like goblins imagined in the dark, in the morning’s light they simply were not there.
And all the while I had the extraordinary feeling that I was two people. I had another self, a self that was millions of miles from that hall, learning things men don’t yet have words to express. I have tried so often to remember the things I knew then, but the learning seemed to take place in a mind apart from the one I ordinarily think with, as though the answer to my question was too vast for my small intellect. But, in that mind beyond logic, that question was answered. In that instant I knew why Craig had to leave us. Though I had no visual sensation, I knew afterward that I had met him, and he was wiser than I, so that I was the little boy and he the man. And he was so busy. Craig has so much to do, unimaginably important things into which I must not inquire. My concerns were still on earth.
In the clarity of the moment, it came to me: This life is a simple thing! I remember the very words in which the thought came. “Life is a grade in school. In this grade we must learn only one lesson: We must establish relationships of love.”
Oh, Craig, I thought. Little Craig, in your five short years how fast you learned, how quickly you progressed, how soon you graduated!
I don’t know how long I stood there in the hall. Perhaps it was no time at all as we ordinarily measure things. Grace was sitting up in bed when I reached the door of our room. Not reading, not doing anything, just looking straight ahead of her as she had much of the time since Friday afternoon.
Even my appearance must have changed, because as she turned her eyes slowly to me she gave a little gasp and sat up straighter. I started to talk, words tumbling over each other, laughing, eager, trying to say that the world was not an accident, that life meant something, that earthly tragedy was not the end, that all around our incompleteness was a universe of purpose, that the purpose was good beyond our furthest hopes.
“Tonight,” I told her, “Craig is beyond needing us. Someone else needs us. George Williams. It’s almost Christmas. Maybe, at the Juvenile Detention Home, there’ll be no Christmas gift for him unless we send it.”
Grace listened, silent, unmoving, staring at me. Suddenly she burst into tears.
“Yes,” she said. “That’s right, that’s right. It’s the first thing that’s been right since Craig died.”
And it has been right. George turned out to be an intelligent, confused, desperately lonely boy, needing a father as much as I needed a son. He got his gift, Christmas Day, and his mother got a box of Grace’s good Christmas cookies. We asked for and got his release, a few days later, and this house became his second home. He works with me in the shop after school, joins us for meals around the kitchen table, is a big brother for Diane and Michael and Ruth Carol.
But more was changed, in that moment when I met Christ, than just my feeling about George. That meeting has affected every phase of my life, my approach to business, to friends, to strangers. I don’t mean I’ve been able to sustain the ecstasy of that moment; I doubt that the human body could contain such a joy for very many days.
But I know with the infinite sureness that no matter what life does to us in the future, I will never again touch the rock bottom of despair. No matter how ultimate the blow seems, I glimpsed an even more ultimate joy that blinding moment when the door swung wide.

What about Mary?

2010-12-20T22:21:00.008-08:00

I was looking at the manger scene and I thought: "What about Mary? Imagine how things must've been for her...My lord! She was just a teen! I remember researchers saying that she could've been from fifteteen to seventeen years old when she got engaged! How did the responsibility of raising Jesus feel for her?" -wide eyes-
That left me with something to think about and to parallel with my own life.
If it were me, I know I'd freak out at all that I'd have to do and be in order to become a good mother and set the right example for Jesus. I'm sure Mary did an amazing job though, imperfect and human as she was. She was picked out from all the women of the Earth for a reason. I can imagine Mary's tears, sweat and smiles; her effort to do the best she could and the love God had placed in her heart so that she would give it out and let it spill on others. She had the Son of God to love, as well as her fellow men.
And I know that as a human, she also must've failed, like any of us. It's also a fact she was young, quite young when she was given the biggest responsibility a woman could ever have.
Then I thought about my struggle with feeling incapable and giving myself reasons of why I can't do things, why I'm not prepared, how my experience and knowledge are insufficient. These things are true though, I am insufficient, I don't know what to do or how to go about doing things. The point is that all of that doesn't matter. Contrary to logic, Jesus can use that to do anything!
Actually there's logic there: when there's less of ourselves, there's more space for Jesus to fill, take over and use to accomplish His purposes.
My mind's favorite excuses are: "I'm too young", "I have no experience", "I won't do it right" and "I'll fail". But that's because my fears are completely afraid of drowning, burning, dying and passing into oblivion as steps forward are made.
This past year I found out I can do things I thought I couldn't, and do them right! I also fail, but I can get up! I can reach my full potential and I can do the things I don't feel prepared to do, simply because if they're in front of me it means God has sent them for a reason and He's been preparing me for them.
I don't know what's ahead. I just don't want to put limitations on what I'll do and what opportunities I'll take on. I don't care if I feel small and incapable and if I must face my fears to conquer them. I don't care if the world seems to be closing in on me when I'm in the middle of a struggle, fighting for success. I'll do the best I can, that's my job. And I'll let Jesus do all that I can't, that's His job.
As far of fear of failure goes, He and I are burning that one down together.
I'd like to tell you that this last year I had the privilege of meeting glowing individuals! I watched them shine, fill the need, lead a crowd, do things they had never done before and were afraid of doing! They rose to meet the challenges in front of them. And let me tell you, it didn't matter their age! Although some were years younger than me -smiles-, you know who you are.
How many excuses we come up with doesn't really matter. We'll always have to fight them to get to where we're meant to. They're just that, "excuses" -even if I like calling them reasons.
We can't let excuses keep our potential locked in, keep us from doing all we could, keep us from meeting the people God wants us to, keep us from helping someone else. Most of all, we can't let excuses keep us from fulfilling our destiny and living a full life!
What can a young boy or girl do?
One thing is for sure, Jesus has always used the foolish things of this world.
With Jesus, we have the possibility of doing anything!

Surprise Ending

2010-12-18T22:16:00.007-08:00

My favorite Christmas stories this season Part 1

By Irene B. Harrell

I turned up the fur collar of my coat against a near-freezing wind as I stepped from our warm station wagon into the bare dirt of a front yard on the outskirts of town. Our adult Sunday school class had chosen the address from a Salvation Army list in the evening paper, and my husband and I had driven out to meet the family. The idea was to find out their immediate needs so that we could provide a merry Christmas for them, and then, more importantly, to work with them throughout the year to try to make a real difference, a Christian difference, in their lives.
We had asked God to guide us to the right family, but now it looked as though the house we had chosen was going to be empty. No smoke came from the chimney, and in the front door there was only a hole where a knob and a lock might have been, once. But when we knocked, the rag of curtain at the window moved and a small face peered out. A minute passed and then the door was opened by a boy about eight years old.
“Hello,” I said. “Is your mother home?”
“Mama not home,” he announced gravely. “She workin’.”
“Well, ah—is any grownup here with you?”
He shook his head.
“Let’s step in for a minute,” my husband suggested. “The house’ll get cold with the door standing open.” The boy moved shyly back and we entered the tiny room.
I’ll never forget what we saw. There was a bed, sagging to the floor, the mattress oozing stuffing at every rip and seam. No sheets, no blankets. A small chest of drawers in the corner held a dusty glass punch bowl with cups hanging around the rim. A Bible lay beside it. On the floor a chipped enamel pan held some lumps of corn meal mush the children had been eating in fistfuls. The black wood stove was icy cold.
The boy who had let us in now stood protectively between two smaller children, a boy and a girl. The girl’s oversized slacks were held together by a safety pin. All three youngsters were barefoot.
And there was a baby. He was lying on a pile of straw and rags that had once been an upholstered chair. He was wearing the remnant of an undershirt and a diaper that hadn’t been changed in a long time.
I thought of my own children and my baby in her lovely birch crib with its clean white sheets and I started to cry. I’d never really seen poverty before.
That afternoon we went back with blankets, shoes, diapers, food, and clothes. Again, the mother was not there. But apparently she’d been home long enough to build them a blazing fire, so hot the children had the front door standing wide open. A coalscuttle held scraps of linoleum from a pile of debris in the yard next door.
The next day we finally found the mother at home. Her name was Virginia and the children, in order of age, were Arthur Lee, Violet, Danny, and the baby David Ray. Virginia was a tiny woman in a yellow bouffant organdy dress. She answered our questions quietly and was not offended that we had come to help.
What did she need most? A refrigerator so the baby’s milk wouldn’t sour, and something for a stove that wouldn’t burn as fast as linoleum.
The class found a refrigerator, a bed, a crib, several chairs, sheets, more blankets. On Christmas, there were toys for the children and clothes and food for everyone. The wood stove was replaced by an oil heater that would not go out while the mother was away. The class pledged the money to pay the oil bills for the coming year.
The family’s immediate physical needs had been relatively easy to satisfy. But what about the Christian difference?
Every week or two my husband and I would go to see Virginia and her family. Sometimes we’d carry hand-me-downs, or groceries, or books, sometimes we’d go empty-handed, just to visit. But she always gave us the same warm greeting. I remember the pride with which she invited me to sit down. She hadn’t been able to exercise that kind of courtesy before, when she had no chairs.
Frequently, our four other children went along with us on these visits, and occasionally we took the baby. I had to explain to Virginia about our baby. German measles during my pregnancy had left little Marguerite deaf. When I told Virginia that the doctors said nothing could be done about it, I could see she was deeply affected.
On our next visit she greeted us with shining eyes. “Oh, Mrs. Harrell,” she said, “I believe God is going to make your baby hear! Don’t you feel it too? Can’t she already hear a lot better than she could? I’ve been praying so hard ever since you told me. I know she’s going to hear!”
I just smiled at Virginia. She didn’t know as much about science as I did. I couldn’t expect her to understand that nerve deafness was not curable. Of course, I had prayed for my child; but my prayers had been ones of thankfulness for her, not prayers for healing. I took the doctor’s words as final.
Marguerite was almost a year old when we first noticed the change in her. For a while we couldn’t believe it ourselves, but at last we became convinced that she really was hearing certain loud sounds. When we took her back to the hearing clinic for testing, there was no doubt about it. Our daughter, whose nerve deafness had been pronounced complete and incurable, had begun to hear! In four short months her diagnosis had changed from “profoundly deaf” to “moderately to severely hard of hearing.”
The doctors were amazed, but Virginia wasn’t even surprised. “God did it, Mrs. Harrell. Didn’t I ask Him for an icebox and a good stove, and didn’t He give them to me? There’s nothing He can’t do, if we just ask Him.”
I stared at her, trying to understand faith like this, reaching out my own feeble portion to try to take hold of hers.
“Mrs. Harrell,” she said, “I’m going to keep on praying for that baby.”
“Yes!” I whispered, “Please keep praying. Don’t ever stop.”
It worked, you see, our Christmas project; it even accomplished the “Christian difference.” Of course, the difference was in our lives, not just in Virginia’s. But then, we’d asked God to guide us to the poor, and He generally knows where they are.

~~~
Even though I cry to think of the state they were in,
I think: "What a rich woman having that kind of faith!"

The Christmas tree

2010-12-17T09:19:00.004-08:00

I felt sheer joy to reflect on this. I realized that these could be my words and felt happier yet to think of all who can say the same! I love you!

"A Christmas tree! What a beautiful sight! But what does it mean to me? I wondered, as I gazed at the Yuletide display before me.
The evergreen tree—it symbolizes Jesus, who lives in my heart for good. He never dies away in the winter of my difficulties, but is always with me.
The star on the tip-top of the tree is like that unforgettable star that lit the way to the first humble home of my Savior two thousand years ago. It also reminds me to always look up, that there’s always a shining star of hope, even in my darkest nights.
The baubles and pretty decorations are the good, happy things that fill my life with spice and delight. I don’t take time as often as I should to thank God for all my blessings, or even for the sad things and the hard times that have made me into the person that I am today. Life wouldn’t be life without both joy and sadness, the good and the bad.
The colorful string of lights reminds me of the things God does to light my way through life. “His Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” I never need feel alone.
And last but not least, the presents under the Christmas tree symbolize my gifts to Jesus. It’s His birthday, after all. The most meaningful gifts are gifts of love—time, friendship, company, giving, forgiveness, and understanding. I give Him gifts each time I give from my heart to others.
The heart of Christmas is not in the presents we give, but the love that we share. This is what makes Christmas."—Amanda White

Sweet Estie, Happy Birthday!!

2010-12-08T16:22:00.006-08:00

You make me feel so proud of you, I'm proud to have a friend like you.
You're fighting to make the world around you a better place, you give of yourself and your time to others, you love Jesus first and foremost and you walk on the water with Him. You're in love, you're willing to help, you're a servant just like Jesus, you're a comforter, you're an amazing woman and a sweet, sweet friend.
You mean more to people than you know. You're an angel in disguise, carrying her guitar, lighting candles in other's hearts. You mean more to me than you know. I admire you for sailing out into the unknown, for being a visionary, for doing it for love.
I bet this is going to be the most exciting year of your life yet! You have soo much to look forward to!
From the moment you first blinked you've found treasures along the path of your life and given soo much Love! Thank you for all that love you give Sweetie. It translates into prayers answered, miracles, strength, happiness, protection, fulfillment, health in the lives of others. Cause of that and so much more is Heaven laded with blessings, riches and awesomeness to give you and reward you with! And honey, you're only 18!
I'm so happy to have met you that one time passing by your house in Querétaro. You helped me feel less of a weird bug, sat with me when my stomach was aching, made sure my tea had no sugar, and talked and talked with me.
And just recently we were sitting in a red van with my dad at the wheel, catching up on each other's lives a bit. I remember you looked beautiful and how you matched perfectly with the day! It was bliss to have you there, how you shared your experiences with me, and treasures you've gained by walking alongside Jesus. We hadn't slept much at all and you still managed to look beautiful, why? Cause you simply are! No other explanation! -smiles-
I love you very much my dear and I'm excited about your new year and the adventures that await you, starting today. New grand things! It doesn't matter if some start small. Look at Jesus born in a stable.
My, you're awesome! I wish you the happiest year of your life yet! And I pray you have at every moment everything you need and love in your heart that never dies. Thank you for being such a champ, for not giving up, for carrying on, for wanting to be more like Jesus every day! Estie, you inspire me.

My theory

2010-11-26T15:56:00.005-08:00

The most fun things in life...

...are simple.

-huuge smile!-

Roses and thorns

2010-10-26T19:59:00.005-07:00

I woke up this morning hearing my mom's voice calling my name and saying "Stephanie, you forgot to put the alarm clock on, get up!" "What day is it?" -I was that lost.
I got ready in record time and only thanks to Jesus I didn't miss my bus. But before I ran out the door I somehow managed to get a quote from my quote bottle, I read: "He who would have nothing to do with thorns must never attempt to gather flowers." I pictured a rose bush in my head and smiled, bearly thinking on the deeper meaning of that quote. I put it in my pocket for later examination.
In a few hours I was in school engrossed in a book, but I let my thoughts twirl downwards and with them went my feelings. It was like losing reasons to smile, reasons to sing, reasons to be happy. It wasn't the thought of one problem that troubled me, it was the thought of them all. I couldn't believe that even the beautiful day couldn't make a change in my mood. "I guess so" I thought. I excused myself, left my book and went to the bathroom to pray. Yes, to the bathroom. I told Jesus I didn't know what was happening to me, that I didn't want to just lose it, lose my joy and crumble at the thought of my little troubles that felt so big to my emotional side. I told him about one in particular, how I was missing someone very much, a person who most likely won't ever think of me as I do of him. When I was done explaining the matters of my heart, I waited for him to do the miracle in my heart and help me.
He did so wonderfully.
I decided I'd work on a project pending. I searched in my computer for something and the results showed a list of poems and stories about gratitude. No idea how it had anything to do with what I was looking for, but yes with what was in my heart. I remembered the quote about roses and thorns I had read in the morning, I had my answer.

I've been countin' up my blessings,
I've been summin' up my woes,
But I ain't got the conclusion
Some would naturally suppose.

Why I quit accounting troubles,
For I had half a score,
While the more I count my blessings,
I keep a finding more & more!

There've been things that weren't exactly
As I thought they oughtta be,
And I often growled at problems
For not a peppin' me.

But I hadn't stopped to reason
What the other side had been,
How much of good & blessing
Had been thickly crowded in.

For there'd been a rift of sunshine
After every shower of tears,
And I found a load of laughter
Scattered all along the years.

If the thorns had pricked me sometimes,
I've good reason to suppose,
Love has hid them often from me
`Neath the shadow of the rose.

So I'm gonna still be thankful
For the sunshine & the rain,
For the joy that's made me happy,
For the purgin' done by pain.

For the love of little children
For the friends that have been true,
For the Guiding Hand that's led me
Every threatenin' danger through!

Beautiful, no? I think so. And it's every bit true in my life.
George Matheson wrote:
"My God, I have never thanked Thee for my `thorn'! I have thanked Thee a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my `thorn'; I have been looking forward to a world where I shall get compensation for my cross as itself a present glory. Teach me the glory of my cross; teach me the value of my `thorn'. Show me that I have climbed to Thee by the path of pain. Show me that my tears have made my rainbow."

There's no roses without thorns.

Pondering today...

2010-10-10T12:20:00.010-07:00

We decide to accept the gifts of love given to us. That we don't choose to take in the love doesn't mean we aren't loved.

I told him: "I need someone to make me believe in love again." (love between couples)
And there He was, telling me that someone was He.

"It's amazing what love can do", my mom wrote. "It makes you feel alive, like you can accomplish anything, like nothing is impossible."

Why do we run away from love? Why do we try to hide from it? Is it because we're so terrified of being vulnerable? Is it because we think we can't handle it? Is it because we are afraid it'll crush us when it's gone? Is it because we want to prove we can be strong without it? Is it because it makes us feel and look like fools? Or is it because it's so great it frightens us, and it's so simple it scares us even more? We can make loving complicated, but love is in fact simple. And it's what makes life worth living.
God is love.

Yesterday's tomorrow

2010-10-05T15:11:00.004-07:00

Couldn't have been said better

Today is Yesterday’s Tomorrow
By Jim Rohn, Oct. 4, 2010

The problem with waiting until tomorrow is that when it finally arrives, it is called today. Today is yesterday’s tomorrow. The question is what did we do with its opportunity? All too often we will waste tomorrow as we wasted yesterday, and as we are wasting today. All that could have been accomplished can easily elude us, despite our intentions, until we inevitably discover that the things that might have been have slipped from our embrace a single, unused day at a time.
Each of us must pause frequently to remind ourselves that the clock is ticking. The same clock that began to tick from the moment we drew our first breath will also someday cease.
Time is the great equalizer of all mankind. It offers opportunity but demands a sense of urgency.
When the game of life is finally over, there is no second chance to correct our errors. The clock that is ticking away the moments of our lives does not care who succeeds or who fails. It does not care about excuses, fairness or equality. The only essential issue is how we played the game.
Regardless of a person’s current age, there is a sense of urgency that should drive them into action now—this very moment. We should be constantly aware of the value of each and every moment of our lives—moments that seem so insignificant that their loss often goes unnoticed.
We still have all the time we need. We still have lots of chances, lots of opportunities, lots of years to show what we can do. For most of us, there will be a tomorrow, a next week, a next month, and a next year. But unless we develop a sense of urgency, those brief windows of time will be sadly wasted, as were the weeks and months and years before them. There isn’t an endless supply!
So, as you think of your dreams and goals of your future tomorrow, begin today to take those very important first steps to making them all come to life.

Radiance

2010-10-01T16:13:00.005-07:00

A dear friend wrote this for me. I didn't think it'd come to mean so much and be a pick-up for my heart when I was in such need. Ricky wrote it months before some happenings in my life would give it a lot of meaning. It came to be the arms of love and friendship wrapped around me.

Shine on bright, make a sign
I know you can do it

Hold on tight, forget the pain
You can fly to His arms

Take the change, radiance
We know we'll be strong

So now, it seems like everything is gone
But Tomorrow you'll find your Own
Take a look at the sun, 'Cause there's no storm
We'll keep on going on

Step by step, we'll make the way
And our feet won't feel heavy.
When we get there, you won't repair
your damaged and worn-out clothes.

I know you're eyes are not lying
I wonder How could they lie?
When eyes are just little windows
Where we can see what's going on inside.

One thing I would remember when walking along was: "Take a look at the Sun, 'cause there's no storm." And that was for sure. I had been making storms in my head, wallowing in the negative thoughts I'd get. But with Jesus' sun at my center my world was warm, bright and full of light. I had to stop looking down at the puddles of mud formed by tears and take a look at the sun to see the world for what it really is, mud piles, rocky cliffs, ocean and shine. Thank you for the radiance of your friendship Ricky!

Miracles

2010-09-28T19:55:00.004-07:00

"It always amazes me to look at the little, wrinkled brown seeds and think of the rainbows in 'em," said Captain Jim. "When I ponder on them seeds I don't find it nowise hard to believe that we've got souls that'll live in other worlds. You couldn't hardly believe there was life in them tiny things, some no bigger than grains of dust, let alone color and scent, if you hadn't seen the miracle, could you?"- Chapter 18, Anne's House of dreams

Simple and childlike

2010-09-24T12:16:00.003-07:00

"I realized that my life was to be one of simple, childlike faith, and that my part was to trust, not to do. I was to trust in Him and He would work in me to do His good pleasure. From that time my life has been different, and He has given me that peace that passeth understanding and that joy which is unspeakable." -C.T. Studd, Missionary to China, India and Africa.

Winners

2010-09-23T14:14:00.008-07:00

"Winners work at doing things the rest of the population won’t even consider trying."

"When you've paid the price, you expect the gold"
By Denis Waitley, Sept. 21, 2010

One of the most inspirational moments in my years serving as Chairman of Psychology on The U.S. Olympic Committee’s Sports Medicine Council was witnessing the first perfect 10 ever scored by an American gymnast in the summer games, by Mary Lou Retton in the Los Angeles Summer Games in 1984. (Steph's note: this girl was 16 when she won!)
Mary Lou wasn’t born a classic gymnast. She didn’t have the movements of a ballet dancer. She was just 4 feet 9 inches tall, with a compact, muscular body. She said, “I knew I wouldn’t look graceful in floor exercises, or doing those ballerina moves. But I was a good sprinter and I had a lot of power and explosiveness. So I could do some things some of the other girls couldn’t do.”
By the age of 14 she was West Virginia State Champion, and winning gymnastic meets throughout the world. But as young as she was, she was mature enough to realize she needed to do much more. “I needed someone pushing me,” she said. “I needed some other girls around me who were shooting for the same goal I was.”
So, at a time when most teenagers are thinking about anything but commitment, Mary Lou Retton made an enormous sacrifice. She left the comfort of her home in Fairmont, West Virginia, and moved to Houston, into the home of a family she didn’t know, just for the opportunity to train under one of the world’s greatest, but most demanding, gymnastic coaches, Bela Karolyi.
While other kids were watching TV, going to a movie, hanging out with friends, and going on trips, she was practicing four hours a day, seven days a week. Karolyi changed everything she had been doing for eight years, from the way she tumbled to the way she ate. As the Olympic Games drew nearer, she described her day this way, “An eight o’clock workout, then to school, back to the gym for four more hours of work, then homework, then bed.”
A grind? To be sure. Fun? Not much. Then why? Because winners work at doing things the rest of the population won’t even consider trying. She may not have enjoyed the routine, but she loved the sport, the challenge, and the dream. Then, just a few weeks before the summer games, her right knee suddenly locked. Fragments of torn cartilage had broken loose and had become wedged in the knee joint. Less than 10 days after arthroscopic surgery, she was back in the gym for a full workout. There was no time to lose, only time to get ready to win.
In her final event, the vault, Mary Lou needed a 9.95, a near-perfect performance, to tie the Romanian favorite for the gold medal. One writer described her effort this way: “She raced down the line, sprang off the vault, twisted at high altitude, and landed as still as a dropped bar of lead, yet as soft as a springtime butterfly.”
She scored a perfect 10, the ultimate. But to the surprise and awe of spectators, officials and myself, she went ahead and executed the optional, second vault. Incredibly, the result was the same again: a perfect 10.
The only two individuals not surprised were Mary Lou Retton and her coach, Bela Karolyi. He had told her just before her performance: “You’re my little American gold medal winner!”
In an interview, I heard her remark that her self-talk leading up to those two perfect vaults went something like this: “Relax. Concentrate. Thanks for all the car pools, Mom. This vault’s for you. Speed. Explode. Extend. Nail the landing. This is your moment in history. Need a 10, got a 10. Just like practice. Let’s go!”

***

Besides the powerful and obvious reminder: "Winners work at doing things the rest of the population won’t even consider trying" -which I love!-, this article made me think about something else as well. After reading it I looked up Mary Lou Retton on Google and came across an article titled: "Living beyond the illusion of disability".
It stated how many of us are captives, prisoners within the limitations of our own abilities or disabilities. It wasn't just talking about natural or physical disability, like not being able to move the left side of our body, or being very short or having just undergone a surgery, like Mary Lou. It was also talking about the limitations we put on ourselves -mental ones-. It caught my eye, since just today I thought while sitting in Economy class: "How on Earth am I supposed to understand this shit about Economy and how screwed up it is when I don't know much about it firsthand? This teacher is going too fast, argh, besides(prepare for pathetic), I'm just sixteen."
Taaran! I found a self-imposed limitation. It shouldn't be there. But there it is many times so I need to eradicate it.
I think accomplishment has a lot to do with:
1. Working hard
2.Faith. What we believe ourselves to be capable of.
And though it may not be much at times, or nothing at all, Jesus doesn't think so. When we say: "I'm crap." He says: "I love you". And when we say "I can't do it" He says "I can and I'll do it with you"
I'm going to comprehend and learn what my economy teacher talks about without my mind getting lost amongst the facts, terms and examples -determined lil grin-.

"Dear restless heart"

2010-09-10T12:26:00.007-07:00

I hadn't found a poem that fit my life, feelings and needs so perfectly till now.

Dear restless heart, be still; don’t fret and worry so;
God has a thousand ways His love and help to show;
Just trust, and trust, and trust, until His will you know.

Dear restless heart, be still, for peace is God’s Own smile,
His love can every wrong and sorrow reconcile;
Just love, and love, and love, and calmly wait awhile.

Dear restless heart, be brave; don’t moan and sorrow so,
He has a meaning kind in chilly winds that blow;
Just hope, and hope, and hope, until you braver grow.

Dear restless heart, recline upon His breast this hour,
His grace is strength and life, His love is bloom and flower;
Just rest, and rest, and rest, within His tender power.

Dear restless heart, be still! Don’t struggle to be free;
God’s life is in your life, from Him you may not flee;
Just pray, and pray, and pray, till you have faith to see.

—Edith Willis Linn, “Streams in the Desert”

So happy

2010-09-08T15:17:00.003-07:00

"You will be so happy you waited and trusted, I promise you." -Jesus

Compass

2010-09-06T14:13:00.005-07:00

I don't have a sense of direction, Jesus.
Thanks for being my compass.

The very next morning, as the bus drove me to school half-asleep, I spotted a car which had in its rear the word: c o m p a s s. Made me smile so big it jolted me awake.

At all times

2010-09-05T12:53:00.006-07:00

"In times of pain, I will bring sweet relief. In times of distress, I will be your comforter. In times of doubt, I will fan the spark of your faith. In your darkest hour, I will be your guiding light. In times of torment, I will be your safe haven. In times of emptiness, I will be your in all." -From Jesus with Love

My first day

2010-09-03T14:34:00.002-07:00

“Today is the first day of your life because it has never been before, and today is the last day of your life because it will never be again.”—Frederick Buechner

Windstorms

2010-08-23T18:12:00.007-07:00

"Looking back over my life, I can see the beauty that the windstorms have carved."

I want to be able to say this of my life, so I'll march ahead and face the storm.

To my angel-like best friend

2010-08-14T11:59:00.006-07:00

When I need to laugh, somehow its always possible with you.
When I'm all tears and blubbering, you hug me and understand.
When I need some arms around me, yours are more than willing.
When my eyes are on the mud, you help me look up at the sparkling night sky and see the best of things.
When I'm sick, you come along and make my heart glad.
When I'm at my worst, you still see possibilities in me, your eyes can see something beautiful.
When I'm all smiles and laughter, you join in singing jolly, silly songs!
When I need an angel, when I need to know that things are alright, when I need to laugh and forget about myself, you're more than ready to fill the need and you don't even notice perhaps, how much of an angel you are to me. But Jesus knows, He sent you along.
Jesus is so wise, so grand, so marvelous, merciful and generous. And knows exactly what we need at the right time and brings the perfect person, the perfect opportunity, the perfect moment to grow and love, to wake us up and remind us that we're alive!
I love you dear!
Thank you for being in my life! Thanks Jesus, you're the best! -huge smile-

Any day of the year

2010-07-28T19:20:00.005-07:00

I love it how Christmas doesn't need a certain date in one's heart, cause when you love it suddenly is Christmas.

Taken care of

2010-07-25T15:21:00.013-07:00

Stop right now and look out the window and up into the sky. Remember that if I made the world and all that is therein, I can certainly take care of you, My dearest. -Jesus

Thinking of better days

2010-07-24T21:35:00.009-07:00

Sometimes I get into thinking:
"I can't wait for this and that to happen", "If only I had just the one to share my whole life with!", "When I get better at doing this or that I'll be so happy!".
It's like putting off happiness, waiting for better days to knock and enter my doorstep.
Why don't I make the better days now?
If I remember that joy and sorrow, good and bad, pretty and ugly accompany us all the while, no matter our ages, state or season, frankly this season can be the best!
There's no reason why I can't have the best of times now. Surely things aren't perfect, circumstances have a knack for changing. And the times I wish I were exactly on the other side of the world with someone just for a few hours, makes me realize that I'd want more, and that with human nature circumstances and conditions won't ever be enough.
So am I gonna let my dreams come true and pass me by because I was reaching out to some other new longing and desire, some other new thing I didn't have?
Will I fail to enjoy my dreams that have already come true today simply because they don't include every single one I want?
If I do, that just makes me ridiculously bratty and so sadly, blind. Honestly I don't know which one's worse.
Let me tell you some about my dreams come true:
~I've got wonderful friends who genuinely care about me, love me and wish to see me succeed.
~I'm with my family: two siblings, mom and dad.
~I have Jesus, fulfiller of dreams, and I know that whatever takes time or doesn't happen here on Earth, there's eternity in Heaven where all dreams do come true.

On the same topic, I'm going to University! Not exactly in my list of dreams for long at all, but it means that my dream of playing a part to have more English literature translated to Spanish can come true, and that perhaps I'll be an useful interpreter one day -grins-!

So darling Jesus, I want to enjoy every step I take and make the better days today! I commit to doing so with your hands touching my heart and opening my eyes helping me to see things as they truly are.
Thank you for all that you are and do! Can't thank you enough.
Thank you!

"I love my wall!"

2010-07-22T06:50:00.002-07:00

This story stroke my heart like a benign lightning -smiles-:

One Saturday after our excursion to Pizza Hut, the mall, and a movie, I drove my ten-year-old goddaughter Samantha to her family's new residence. As we turned off the highway onto a dirt road that led to her house, my heart dropped to see that she and her parents were living in an old school bus in a field.
As Samantha showed me around her family's quarters, I began to feel sad that this little girl whom I love so much was growing up in such a shoddy environment. As my eyes painfully fell upon rusted seams on the metal walls, cracked windows, and a leaking roof, I realized that her family had fallen into bare, subsistence living. I wanted to rescue her from such a barren plight.
Looking up at me with her big brown eyes, Samantha asked me, "Would you like to see my room?"
"Okay," I answered hesitantly.
The child took me by the hand and guided me up a makeshift staircase that led to a small wooden addition that had been superimposed over the roof of the bus. I shuddered to observe that her room was in the same condition as the rest of the place, just barely livable. Looking around, I noticed one fairly attractive element of her abode, a colorful tapestry hanging over the one section of the room that could be called a wall.
"How do you feel about living here?" I asked Samantha, waiting for a glum response.
Instead, to my surprise, her face lit up. "I love my wall!" she giggled.
I was stunned. Samantha was not kidding. She actually enjoyed the place because of this colorful wall. The child found a touch of heaven in the midst of hell, and this is what she chose to focus on. She was happy.
I drove home in a state of awe. This ten-year-old saw her life through the eyes of appreciation, and that made all the difference. I began to consider all the things in my life that I have complained about. I realized that in my preoccupation with what isn't there, I have been missing what is here. While focusing on rusty metal, I have overlooked some colorful tapestries. I made Samantha's statement my meditation: "I love my wall!"
Gratitude is not the result of things that happen to us; it is an attitude we cultivate by practice. The more we are thankful for, the more we will find to be thankful for. I heard of a woman named Sarah who lay in a hospital bed after an accident, deeply depressed, unable to move any part of her body except the little finger on one hand. Then Sarah decided she would make use of what she was missing. She began to bless the one finger that could move, and she developed a system of "yes" and "no" communication with the little finger. Sarah became grateful that she could communicate, and she felt happier. As she blessed the movement, her flexibility increased. Soon Sarah could move her hand, then her arm, and eventually her whole body. It all started with the critical shift from complaining to blessing.
Jesus taught, "To him that hath, more shall be given; to him that hath not, more shall be taken away." Jesus was elucidating a supremely important principle. Jesus was teaching the importance of concentrating on what we have or want, rather than on what we lack or do not want.

Dear Ryan

2010-07-17T11:00:00.005-07:00

I admire the long way you've come.
You remind me how immensely precious people are.
I admire the life lessons you've learned and that you have the courage to share them with all of us, to show who you are with no shame. That's admirable! -smiles-
I'm so happy that the beauty of your life has touched mine, it makes me feel real thankful.
Granted we don't have enough strength to make it on our own, we need each other, and most of all, we need Jesus.
I'm thankful for all the love and beauty your life exudes; they beauty of your journey, the beauty of your discoveries, the beauty of your fights and the beauty of your love and dreams. It's opened my eyes when I needed it, encouraged me when I was weak and stumbling, and showed me another part of my life and heart I hadn't payed attention to before.
Thank you for marking my life. You really didn't meant to, you were just being you.
Stay wonderful, as you are. But I have a feeling time will only make you better! You'll only get better with time!

Happy Belated Birthday Ryan! -by the time you get to read this, it will be :-*

With eyes of love

2010-07-17T09:06:00.012-07:00

It's true, sometimes I don't feel like loving, I feel like caring mostly about myself.
I do need glasses of love at all times, to see things right, for what they are, not for what my selfish human nature perceives them to be.
If I'm not looking at the world through eyes of love, I'm missing out on the true realities.

"Real love never fails someone else by depending only on the love stored in an earthly heart. Real love looks to Me to receive My complete love with which to love others, so that it will never run out. Anything else in the whole world can fail, except that which comes from Me." -Jesus

"When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves."—William Arthur Ward

Feliz Cumpleaños Ana!

2010-07-15T06:59:00.009-07:00

I love you cutie! And I wish you the very best this year!
I'm so thankful to have met you, you've sweetened my life -smiles right at you-
You're a bubbly girl, bursting with ideas! Don't let anyone discourage you from fulfilling the dreams you have. Please don't stop pouring out all the sweet love you give, it means so much to us.
If you're ever in need of a friend, honey remember I'm here.

Pancakes from the sky

2010-07-11T09:31:00.006-07:00

A chat one day:

Sandy: I know, we feel there should be something more outstanding. when, if we just cared to look around, we'd see that flower budding that baby smile, that heart felt hug
Sandy: that beautiful smile
Sandy: and simple I love you's
stephanie: (huge growing, growing smile)
Sandy: and the whole world turns into a rainbow
Sandy: if we could only stop ..
Sandy: and appreciate
Sandy: but we don't
Sandy: we instead look at the mud, the puddles, our imperfections.
Sandy: you know what we need?
stephanie: or other's..
what?!
Sandy: a pancake to fall from the sky and hit us
Sandy: yeah
Sandy: hahaha
stephanie: hahhahahahaha
stephanie: hummm.. yumm!

Happy and worthwhile

2010-07-08T19:34:00.003-07:00

Make one person happy each day and in 40 years you will have made 14,600 human beings happy for a little time at least.—Charley Willey

Reason for living

2010-07-04T15:37:00.008-07:00

Jesus, you're behind every reason I smile.

I love having you as my reason for living, because you never run out, there's no end to you.
In fact your wonders only increase..

I'm missing you Jess

2010-06-29T07:06:00.004-07:00

When did Jesse leave? I don't even remember anymore. I just know that time is never enough when you know someone won't be with you for long and you desperately want them to stay.

I l o v e y o u !

Trust Me

2010-06-28T20:29:00.005-07:00

(Jesus:) I ask for your trust, as a child would trust a parent and a baby its mother. I want you to trust Me that I know what is good for you. Even though it seems like everything is turning out all wrong, I don’t want you to struggle or fight against it or harden your heart toward it, but I want you to know by faith that no matter what the outcome, or what you end up with or don’t end up with, or how things work out, that you will say in the end: "The Lord is good and He has done all things well".

She's Suz

2010-06-27T20:18:00.005-07:00

Sweet Suz, its your birthday today..and I've got some things to tell you.
Things I forget to say when we see each other, when I see your happy smile while playing volleyball, when I hear your roaring laughter -grins-, when I see you dance or look upon the sun shining on the street and among the leaves (wow I'm getting so poetic)
You are so funny! It's hard to tell when you're so quiet, but underneath that there is the bubbling personality of such a fun girl, one I wish each of my friends could know!
You're sweet. You care about others, you're not like most people, selfish and concerned only about themselves. You go beyond the call of duty to do things for people that will make their days easier and happier.
Oh and your smiles! Your hugs! When you're gone I miss them terribly!
Everyone needs a Susie in their life, someone that makes them smile and laugh and forget about how bad they were feeling moments earlier. Someone who cares and loves them and is alright with the way they are, even if they do something stupid, act retarded or in the most dorky way imaginable. Everyone needs someone like you. Someone who tells them the truth, someone who for love would do nearly anything..
I wish more people were like you. I feel completely blessed to have you in my life.
Happy Birthday little Miss awesome!

Colorful

2010-06-26T11:49:00.004-07:00

Life looks pink very few times, but who wants pink when there's a whole array of beautiful colors and hues?

Looking back

2010-06-24T07:09:00.003-07:00

I was thinking back on last year trying to remember what June 2009 was like. I couldn't remember much, but my negative memories had prominence over the positive ones. It made me feel bad because I know good things took place, probably great ones, I just couldn't remember. I know I had happy days along with the struggles.
The thing is, I think we have months or times in our lives when nothing really outstanding happens; but there is the daily grind of forging ahead, feeling hit by waves of emotions, trying not to drown, and somehow in it all, enjoy the ride. There's all the falls, and when one looks back on it, it's not a happy memory.
But I need to change my perspective, because it's cause of those times that I'm here today, and I know I'm better for it. I'm stronger and better able to face that challenges of today.
And about the strong, flying, firing, draining emotions, I've learned it is possible to have a hand on them.
It's possible to be at peace in the midst of the storm, it's possible to get up after every fall...and be happy while at it. All that is needed is to look up.
Jesus is the best psychologist, and He can tell you what to do. He beats the best, best friend -and believe me cause I've got a great one!- He knows just what to do, and has all the power in the universe to make things right again. He just needs our trust, and as we give him time, walk ahead holding his hand, He does all that and more.
He's seriously pro at that, making things right.
I don't know how to handle life, but He does, and that's enough. Like the writer Anne Rice said, "if He knows everything, I don't need to know everything".

"There was the sense, profound and wordless, that if He knew everything I did not have to know everything, and that, in seeking to know everything, I’d been, all of my life, missing the entire point."

Be truly beautiful

2010-06-22T20:59:00.004-07:00

"There is so much beauty in being yourself!" -My sudden outburst when looking at a poster of Julia Roberts in the middle of a Mexico city mall.

In Mexico City

2010-06-13T20:03:00.004-07:00

I forgot to tell you...going to Mexico city was great fun, dancing, laughter and squishy hugs on demand!

Getting to be with my pretty ladies is the sweetest of gifts.

I had been dying to meet Winds and Maria, and not only did I get that but I found other fun and funny kindred spirits.

Locas :)

Oh look at extremely cute Nash

Maria and Sandy

Nina and Suz of my heart

Chelsey, Windy, Leah and Sunny

Those of us hanging around till the very end -smiles-

Maria, I absolutely loved invading your house, loved the hours we spent together.
Anna, I can't believe I don't have a picture with you, you're the sweetest! Thank you for taking pictures of us.
Sandy, you know that traveling with you is like taking the feeling of home wherever I go. I loved the fun we had on the trip there and back..terrorizing our fellow passengers. Lets pray to God we weren't really that loud. -grins-
Windy, I shall never forget our graceful dance. I really should practice that kind of dancing more. You're a great dancer dear. Meeting you was like a dream cause..haha I felt I already had (hugs you super tight)
Laura, you're awesome.
Robin, you are too!
And Diego you're so funny and great fun to have around -smiles-

And that's a bit of June sunshine.

Being with you is a gift I treasure

Smile

2010-06-11T10:15:00.002-07:00

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though its breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through, for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
if you just smile

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
if you just smile.

My friend in Panama is a hero cause of this, smiling even though his heart is aching. He keeps a smile, and with that smile he starts a joyous chain reaction, that reached me as well. I will sing this to myself tonight.

Note to self

2010-06-03T14:24:00.009-07:00

Saying one never wants to be hurt again is like saying one never wants to love again.
And when with that in mind, I don't mind the hurt. Love makes it worth it all.
Oh, and...

It's everywhere, Jesus puts it everywhere; let it in, take it in, give it out.
Please don't forget that people don't regret loving at the end of their life,
what they regret is neglecting to love.

"Life's little instructions"

2010-05-28T21:35:00.021-07:00

I discovered a great list, called "Life's little instructions".
A 95 year old, successful man named William Snell wrote it for a young friend on 1993, the year I was born. And I loved it!
I think old people are mighty interesting. I have a feeling that they all, even if they hide it, know how to truly live life. (Gotta go visit my grandma!) 'Cause they've lived their life, they've gone through it, they've had to weather its heavy storms, they've fallen and gotten back up again, or they may know just what not to do. I could be wrong, each person's a whole world.
But to me, when a person lives well, its a privilege to take sips of the richness of the vintage wine their life created, and see what we'd like to make of ours...I would've loved to meet this man.
Each of the next points could get me talking for hours, but I'll leave it to your imagination.

Cheers to this rich glass of wine!

Sing in the shower.
Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
Watch a sunrise at least once a year.
Never refuse homemade brownies. -huuge smile-
Strive for excellence, not perfection.
Plant a tree on your birthday.
Learn three clean jokes.
Returned borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full.
Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
Leave everything a little better than you found it.
Keep it simple.
Think big thoughts, but relish small pleasures.
Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
Be forgiving on yourself and others.
Say "thank you" a lot.
Say "please" a lot.
Avoid negative people.
Wear polished shoes.
Remember other people's birthdays.
Commit yourself to constant improvement.
Have a firm handshake.
Send lots of valentines cards, sign them.
Look people in the eye.
Be the first to say "hello".
Return all things you borrow.
Make new friends but cherish the old ones.
Keep secrets.
Plant flowers every spring.
Have a dog.
Always accept an outstretched hand.
Stop blaming others.
Take responsibility for every area of your life.
Wave at kids in school buses.
Be there when people need you.
Don't expect life to be fair.
Never underestimate the power of love.
Drink champagne for no reason at all.
Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.
Don't be afraid to say, "I made a mistake".
Don't be afraid to say, "I don't know".
Compliment even small improvements.
Keep your promises no matter what.
Marry only for love.
Rekindle old friendships.
Count your blessings.
Call your mother.
And your father too, if they happen to be alive.

The best monday

2010-05-24T21:04:00.006-07:00

When one lives happy days, even when nothing outstanding takes place, but instead it's a string of many lovely, simple and worthwhile little things, one feels alive! -and doesn't want to forget what it's like. Those days make you realize how beautiful things are an every day happening. Sure the world is going in a spiral downwards...but someone told me you don't have to go with it. And I don't want to.
It's not about creating a blissful illusion or a reality that doesn't exist, it's just recognizing like Agatha Cristhie said, that being alive is a grand thing!
And in honor of this one Monday I've lived...I shall make an effort to love all Mondays from now on.
I was remembering recently a quote that read: "You wanna be happy? -expectant grin- then, be." -Oh...-
About this very day all I can say that I haven't already is:

Life, real love, truth, beauty and simplicity -these things can make me cry tears of joy almost any day.
Thanks for them God, they're the part of Heaven that's on Earth -smiles-

Threading a needle

2010-05-21T21:20:00.004-07:00

From Jesus with love

When was the last time you tried threading a needle? You probably licked the end of the thread and held the needle up close, squinting, straining your eyes as you carefully and repeatedly tried to maneuver the thread through. Sometimes it threads easier than at other times, but almost always there are those moments of difficulty and frustration, right up until you finally get it through. Now why would you bother threading that needle in the first place? Because there’s a purpose and a plan. You need to create something or mend something.
Remember this the next time you feel like your trials are threading you through the eye of a needle and you’re experiencing pressure, frustration, and anguish. There is a plan and a purpose—My plan—and that is to create something glorious with your life: a tapestry that is going to wow the world with its deep colors, intricate detail, and beauty, the kind that can only be created through the trying of one’s faith. It’s those difficult and hard-earned lessons that make the tapestry of your life stand miles apart from all the rest, because so few are willing to endure and persevere through the trial in order to create that life of beauty and substance.

Something to not forget in the hubbub of every day:

2010-05-18T14:07:00.007-07:00

Mom

Living with my mom is much like living with my best friend.
She understands me. She knows so much about me, she loves me anyway, she doesn't give up on me. I don't think she ever ceases to believe that I can do better...she thinks I'm doing great exactly when I feel I'm not, so there she is, believing in me.
I hardly have to ask her to listen to me, because she listens at the first signs of me wanting to talk. She listens, be it about my wild ideas, dreams, or dramatic realizations of how I enjoy showers so much.
She asks for my opinion, it has considerable weight to her.
She gets me out of trouble at times.
If I could put a teacher to it, she's the one who taught me how to laugh. So if I sometimes laugh like her don't blame me :P Oh and her laugh is sonorous..
She confides in me.
I can hug her at any moment I have her around knowing that she'll appreciate it.
We argue.
And then the truly sad part would be if I don't let her know the worlds she means to me.
I'm so glad I still have her around me, to tell her how much I love her, what an amazing person she is and how greatly she marks my life. It's gotta be every-day, clear ways or else she might not believe it...or forget it.
She prays for me.
She tells me when I'm wrong.
She sings to me her song.

The bravest

2010-05-17T13:20:00.002-07:00

We've been laughing so hard

2010-05-16T10:38:00.009-07:00

Laughing with you can't be compared with anything else.

"Dying of laughter. Better said, they were alive with laughter, because the more they laughed, the more alive they were." -Fernando Savater, The great labyrinth

And then I sing!
I'm so freaking thankful to have you...
thanks for being in my life,
for being such a big part of it.
You don't just take a part in my joys and laughter,
you're there for the rain as well.
You're an at all times friend.
And when I'm sad you create...
laughing opportunities!
Hahah! I love you -bright smile-

But I AM happy

2010-05-13T13:49:00.005-07:00

Something that needed reposting:
Wait, yes I did steal this. I stole it because it's the feeling I've been trying to get a hold of, I've had it and I want to retain it. Sometimes all I want is to have my eyes open enough to see... that my life is beautiful..
Because life is full of beautiful things, it is..even tho the sky isn't always shades of pink. She explains it so perfectly, refers to her own life, reflects and encompasses it. She wrote:

"There are stages in life that seem to go on forever--times when we're not at the top of our game, we're not succeeding like we want to, we're not happy.
And I thought hey, this is one of those stages...I'm depressed because i left everything i love in Mexico and also cause i miss my mommy and my daddy, and maybe because i don't feel like i can be a good teacher, I'm not working out like i used to, and really after all, this is just a thing I'm going through, give it another couple months and I'll be over this stage...
but you know what? This is not a 'stage', this is my life that I'm wasting being miserable about something I should have given up when there was still time to make a new life, something that stopped being a long time ago.Of course you don't wake up one day and decide to 'be over' love or 'not miss people'...of course not. It doesn't work that way.
But I am happy.
I love Africa, I love teaching, I love my housemates, I love the work, and I love my life right now!
I keep thinking I'm going through a rough stage and that validates being miserable about pathetic things, but it most certainly does not. All I have to do is wake up every morning and know in my heart that yes, I AM happy.
And at the end of the day, the Lord never changed at all...he's still the guy that held my hand through every pain, every loss, every sickening feeling of worthlessness, every heartbreak, every storm. He didn't give up on my life, so why should I? He still thinks I'm beautiful and worthy of his love. There's nothing in the world I can do to make him not love me, and at the end of life the only thing that'll matter is what I did for Him. When you put things in that kind of perspective, little details like the place you live in and the people you work with, the fact that you do or don't have things you want seem like trivialities. Every single day I am alive is a gift.
Even though life isn't perfect, it's absolutely beautiful."

What I love about uncertainty

2010-05-13T13:17:00.003-07:00

I'm uncertain, but I've never been this sure.
Sure that I'm loved, sure that He's with me on it.
Sure that I have no idea of what comes next.
Sure that things change and are never the same...
Sure that I don't have forever to be with the people I love, but there's never a goodbye that's true, cause I'll see you again.
Sure that with each step on thin air, He's taking me somewhere -where he wants me to go- and that is worth the uncertainty to me.
If at times I break down and forget, tell me to stop looking down and to look ahead. Isn't that what birds do?
I'm not a bird, but I have Him. And isn't that a million times better than having your own wings?
I'd die if I didn't have you all the time Jesus. Dead, yes. Thanks for keeping me alive, keeping me awake, thanks for giving me sight, thanks for holding my hand, thanks for surrounding me with your arms at night, thanks for making me laugh, thanks for kissing me sweet, holding my face in your hands and telling me as many times as I need to hear that all is okay.
I don't think I've ever been so in love with you..

Growing old

2010-05-08T10:17:00.006-07:00

You granddad tells you all the time: "Jimmy.... don't get old."

I hope we never grow old, no matter how many wrinkles and funny old ppl quirks we have in the end -grins big-
If possible I'd like to get old with you and have you by my side all those years if you can stand having me with you throughout half of our lifetimes or more...
and then more.

What I Know About Being Beautiful

2010-05-06T17:42:00.009-07:00

My mom read this story to us kids a morning ago while we were having breakfast.

By Enid C. Anfinson

"Pretty is as pretty does," Mother would invariably say when trying to assuage my wounded ego after some friend (and there were many) had exclaimed, "What a beautiful child!"—always staring straight past me to gaze at my sister Ida.
Ida's dark hair hung shoulder length in silky curls while my kinky locks popped back from Mother's comb in hundreds of tight corkscrew curls like the coat of a poodle. I knew I would never be pretty, and I resented it.
The summer that I was 11 years old, Lilla Haley returned to our town. For years I had been hearing the praises of this wonderful woman. Mother's friends never ended a coffee get-together without lamenting our community's great loss when Lilla moved away. Now after all these years, she was returning.
"Who is this lady?" I asked mother.
"Lilla," mother explained, "is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. She was a teacher and a nurse and always the Good Samaritan. She has helped find a good home for many a homeless child. She has helped everyone she knows."
I began to paint mental pictures of Lilla. She would be stately, regal, wide-eyed with long dark lashes, a breathtaking figure, and a fine complexion.
It was nine o'clock one morning, two days before anyone in town expected her, that Lilla breezed into our house. Mother was baking cookies. I was on my knees cleaning the cupboard under the sink. Ida was straightening her room.
I stared at the long-awaited Lilla, and my eyes popped. She was short, with a little stoop to her shoulders. Her sandy brown hair was streaked with white. But what was shocking was her mouth. With protruding jaw and uneven teeth, her mouth was badly misshapen.
After the glad cries of reunion between her and Mother, Lilla noticed Ida and me standing by the door, gaping. "Oh," she said, "I almost forgot you had two lovely daughters." Then the miracle happened. Instead of gushing about Ida's beauty, she looked right past her at me.
"That hair!" she said. "Let me feel it." I walked slowly to her side. "Beautiful," she exclaimed, fingering the corkscrew curls. "You'll never have to bother with curling irons as most of us do."
From that day until her demise at the age of 80, Lilla was a very special friend of mine, as she was to all who knew her.
One day I asked her the question that was on my mind: "Lilla," I said, "why are you so nice to everyone?"
She smiled at me. "Enid, I would have been the most miserable and mean person in the world had it not been for my mother. You know I am no beauty and I was very self-conscious about it. One day I blurted out to my mother, ‘Why do I have to have such an ugly mouth?'
"Mother gathered me in her arms. ‘Remember always,' she said, ‘it is not the shape of a person's mouth that makes her beautiful. It is what comes out of the mouth that makes her beautiful or ugly. I'll promise you if you let only kind words come through your mouth, you'll be the most beautiful person in the world.
"‘But you will need help, and God is always near to help you. Just remember to ask Him.' I have tried all my life to do just that."
It was then I understood my mother's words—pretty is as pretty does.

"Pretty is as pretty does" -that phrase has more meaning to me in spanish, my mother language, "Eres tan bonita como te sientas". The direct translation would be: "You are as pretty as you feel you are".

...believe it.
As much as you think there are so many people much more beautiful than you are, that doesn't take away the fact that you are YOU and you are B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L.
It's so sad to see people whom I truly know to be of the most beautiful people I've met believe they are not, that there is something really wrong with them. In fact they think there's nothing lovely about them, that they're ugly and with plenty of imperfections and of all sorts. I'm not talking about the ones who voice these things cause they want someone to tell them otherwise. I'm talking about the beautiful people in my life who don't think they're beautiful, when every smile, every lock of their wild hair, every eyelash, curve and line say they are.
I don't know what you'd say, but I'd love it if you could join me on a campaign...to tell those beautiful people how they are pretty and lovely in the ways you think they are. Just tell them, you never know how much you could alter their life and change the course it takes... feeling beautiful is a human need I'd say, it's part of being loved and cherished and looked upon as special, incomparable. We all need that, we all want it, we all can give it.

Throw your hands up in the air!

2010-05-05T10:46:00.005-07:00

I just fell in love with the above quote..

Nina's birthday

2010-05-03T10:18:00.027-07:00

We celebrated my sweet sister's birthday on last week's Thursday, she looked her adorable self!
More than ready to jump into her teens I'd say, but she's someone I would not be the same without.
I love you Nina

Look at the happy, delightful confusion!

We had fun
...please don't die of a heart attack by looking closely into this -grins-

There's nothing like the beauty of having a family, and that family expanding to include new friends and bring dear ones even closer!

There's nothing like the gift of having you!

By faith not sight

2010-05-02T09:31:00.004-07:00

This poem moves me, encourages me. It makes me think of "The book of Eli" movie - cause he walked solely by faith-...and then the countless of others who went on even though the winds blew against them.

Sometimes I'm sad, I know not why
My heart is sore distressed;
It seems the burdens of this World
Have settled on my heart.

And yet I know ... I know that God
Who doeth all things right
Will lead me thus to understand
To walk by FAITH ... not SIGHT.

And though I may not see the way
He's planned for me to go...
The way seems dark to me just now.
But oh, I'm sure He knows!

Today He guides my feeble step
Tomorrow's in His right ...
He has asked me to never fear ...
But walk by FAITH ... not SIGHT.

Some day the mists will roll away.
The sun will shine again.
I'll see the beauty in the flowers.
I'll hear the bird's refrain.

And then I'll know my Father's hand
Has led the way to light
Because I placed my hand in His
And walked by FAITH ... not SIGHT.
--Ruth A. Morgan

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Patience

2010-04-30T15:44:00.005-07:00

I just read that patience is one of the most satisfying fruits of the Holy Spirit -warm smile-
"But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect & entire, wanting nothing."
-James 1:4

A first

2010-04-30T14:32:00.009-07:00

I professionally face-painted today (sorry, I didn't take any pictures of that). I Had my veteran mom on the side and the crazy wind blowing all the adorable things: dresses, hair, ribbons, napkins, and decorations from that cute and colorful kindergarten.
I still have paint on my hands, I got so full of it! I still believe it was a miracle, however small, that an open bottle of yellow paint fell on my lap and didn't spill! (You can just imagine my wide eyes)
They were two and a half good hours of work. I can see how my mom loves it. Even with all the commotion, confusion, kids coming in from all sides -this time gracefully held back by tender teachers- kids are kids and they're lovable, cute, unique, funny, little people that keep coming in! They remind me that God still has hope in humanity, He keeps sending love in the hearts of these little ones, new eyes and carefree rays of light! They're not perfect by any means, but that makes no difference and is unnecessary. Parents love their kids even though they make a mess of things, even though they spill their juice every meal time, even though they fall and cry, even though they stain their new clothes, drop the cell phone, crash into a wall, forget the dance steps or eat too much cake.
We shouldn't feel bad when we do things somewhat like those... We've got the best and most loving of all loving Parents, who watches over us, cares for us and loves us through it all.

Build the bridge

2010-04-26T09:49:00.003-07:00

...to the one you love. One can't ever regret things done for love. Because even when we don't think so, love is never wasted, love lives on.

"As for the question of destiny... all I know is that even when destiny really wants to accomplish something, it can't do it alone. You still have to go to that restaurant. You still have to show up. You still have to build a bridge... to the one you love." -My Sassy girl (2008)

I want to make those right choices, I'm getting those bricks, I'll put them one at a time and see how far they take me. I'll love with all my heart, with all I've got.

My grandpa said

2010-04-20T18:47:00.005-07:00

"When I gave up trying to be perfect I finally became happy."

This hit me like a lightning bolt.
It made me smile so big, it's liberating!

Perfect control

2010-04-19T14:01:00.010-07:00

I said: Jesus, You keep the world in perpetual motion, moving in perfect synchronization and with ethereal displays of beauty. The seasons come and go, the wind blows, I may not know what will happen next, but You take such great care of nature around me and the world spins just as it should, that I'm given more than enough reason to trust you to take care of little ol' me and my life, the uncertain, dynamic, beautiful, scary, surprising thing that you've made my life to be.

I asked to be given eyes to see that everything's alright, because you're in perfect control.
And true to your word, the very next morning you reminded me and assured me through this message how it's all true, not just a hunch... but I knew it.
This you told me, and I thank you.

"I made the world. I made you. I know your past. I know your future. There is nothing you will encounter in life that I haven’t foreseen or that I’m incapable of handling. Life may seem random at times, but it’s not. Every factor in your life is under My control, and you won’t encounter anything you are incapable of overcoming with My help. I’m not only in control of eternity, but I’m in control of your future."

Perfect, you are perfect.

Steph Cartoons by Adrian

2010-04-16T21:46:00.009-07:00

These little things were created a boring Saturday at the Chilis restaurant. We work for kids, we entertain those munchkins, and there were none around. So I sent Adrian to the bar and he started sketching, he came back with this:

(Click to get a better look)

-grins- He personified different aspects of my nature (blush, blush) I thought it was so cute!
Complete with his drama...no, that's actually an all round family trait.

Notice the "Anja" book -wink-
I marry Gregory, dunno how that fits in with the story but I marry him.

"The Guardian", with Ashton Kutcher and Kevin Costner. You have to watch that movie if you haven't already! It's every bit worth your time, I tell you.
-grins-

It all started like this, his first inspiration.

Anyone who knows me knows I adore the moon. Hahah! Increadibly close to reality.
Yes, I love my little brother! Hahah, and he loves me, just as I am -smiles-
Am I not so lucky?

-Meet the artist: funny, smart, artistic, dramatic brother of mine.
Isn't he great? And what's best, he enjoys drawing so!
..I should encourage him more and give him more constructive criticism, he longs for it -like so many of us do.
It'd be so sad if we could see how much we played a part in not letting others learn to fly by failing to encourage to grow their wings.

"Don't ruin today"

2010-04-13T21:15:00.004-07:00

"You cannot change the past; But you can ruin today by worrying about tomorrow."
I have a feeling that was written for me.
And the truth is..God is in control, He'll take care of that which concerns me. Why work myself into a tizzy, when there's an Awesome, Loving God to take care of it? I don't know.
He worked out the past, He's working out the present -and I tell you, its pretty goood!
And He will work out tomorrow, just like He did in the past and brought me here, to where I am today.
That's right Steph, just trust.

Omg those crunchy dry leaves are killing me!
(I wanna step on them!)
I'll enjoy the spring for now...there's actually a sweet smell in the air!

With new eyes

2010-04-12T20:23:00.014-07:00

I feel like a little girl with new eyes.

Because I've got glasses with new lenses!
Everything looks sharper, clearer and even colors look brighter.
It reminds me how much I want a better, richer perspective.
Positiveness is so much better!

A very wise Vietnamese said:
"You can use your life in a very useful and intelligent way. You can very well transform negative energy into a positive energy that empowers you and makes life meaningful -and here Steph smiles real wide-." -Thich Nhat Hanh.

"Some people are unbelievably cheerful in the midst of difficulty or obstacles; others bemoan the slightest inconvenience. Those who look for the upside of any trouble are the ones who come out ahead in quality of life. And the radiance of their positive attitude sheds light on the paths of others." -Chloe West

To me, it's worth fighting to be one of those people.

To my girlies

2010-04-10T10:40:00.017-07:00

In an ice cream container I read: "There are lots of reasons to celebrate, look around, and pick one!"
And I want to celebrate you my girlfriends! -beautiful, crazy nutcases whom I wouldn't be the same without.
It's a celebration in thankfulness for friends like you, who stick through thick and thin, who know what makes me feel ashamed of myself, and still love me, in spite of myself.
You choose to stick around bearing my burdens, helping to heal my wounds, watching my back, inspiring me to love better and give my best shot at life. You encourage me, and by seeing the best of me you help me to believe in myself. You remind me that there's nothing love can't do, no place love can't reach. You remind me that there isn't anything in this life that can't be conquered, because you are fighters yourselves.
You're many times just the reminder I need, telling me that I'm not alone. And it's true, I never am.
You are more than enough reason to celebrate, not just now but to live celebrating!
Not many are blessed with such friends like you, sisters, angels in disguise...and partners for crazy moments.
To you! (clink, clink)
I love your girls -smiles- thank you for your unconditional love. You take me as I am.

Bus stop encounter with joy

2010-04-06T21:17:00.007-07:00

I was standing at the bus stop, waiting for my blessed little bus to come by and take me home from school. As I was there, waiting with my mp3 on shuffle mode, it came to an audio of quotes on Joy I had put in there this morning. It was complete with beautiful soft music and I left it on. -I'm so glad I did!
While waiting there it was like splashes of bright colors were filling the somewhat drab parts of my world. Reminding me to live. To not let hurt dreams stop me, to not let something not turning out as I wanted to, steal my joy. Joy I could have! -No matter what.
And I wanted it, quite badly.
It was beautiful to listen to the messages from Jesus contained in that audio. I felt so at peace, surrounded by His arms of love, opening my eyes to beauty, the beauty He has placed around me. But there was one quote in particular that made me jump, my heart skip a lil beat and my eyes widen in realization. I also gulped.
Here it is:

Remember that you only have one chance for this Earth life.

This is "it", so enjoy it while it lasts.

Enjoy your life for Me while you are here.
Enjoy the company of those you live and work with,
or the people you fellowship with,
because it won’t last forever.
Enjoy your present circumstances,
because this is the only time you’ll be here like this, in this place, with these loved ones.
Enjoy time! Enjoy the moment, because in a moment this present moment will be past.

You are free to enjoy the time you have right now. If you don’t enjoy it right now, you really don’t get another chance. You can reminisce about good times or regret bad times. You can remember with fondness how you did enjoy the moment, or lament that you didn’t. But the only actual time you can enjoy the moment is right now, at the moment. So seize the moment! Seize the day! Seize the joy.
-Jesus

And later on that day I met a new family who had just moved in, somewhere along the outskirts of the city.
The way there was lined with tall, stately trees; there were rays of sun shining through my window.
I got to see two beautiful families I hadn't seen in months, met two extremely adorable Asian little girls and enjoyed every bit of their chubby hands and squeaky voices. We even sang "Twinkle, twinkle little star" on the way back to their home from a nearby lake. I enjoyed every smile, every hug and the ripple effect in the lake waters as the girls threw rocks at it. And I saw Ashley with her light, long brown hair, big eyes and shy nature. Not to mention little Sarah staring out into the distance while holding on tight to her moma. It was so nice to see them! With the extra plus of being out in nature.
We were squished together on the way back to our place and we had to spend some time waiting for our driver and dear friend to finish some business before taking us home. But all five of us -in my small little family- had a good, hearty laugh while waiting in the car. I swear I don't remember what it was about, my mom was just in a foolish mood. God help us:P It was a grand afternoon, and a grand day as a whole, thanks to Jesus, thanks to Joy.
Did I mention we ate some delicious pizza thingies? And I tried goat cheese! It was good, no worries. I just don't recommend you eat it in great portions -grins-, it's also quite salty.

Love so great, the price's been paid

2010-04-03T21:47:00.011-07:00

(Jesus:) Celebrate this Easter as the beginning of our new future together. Think about a love so great that it was willing to die for you, love so great that it was willing to give and to sacrifice all. Let My love wash away any hurts, fears, misunderstandings, or mistakes. My love has already covered all these things, but now it’s in your hands to dispense that love and forgiveness to others and even to yourself.
I already paid the price long ago when I died on the cross and rose again, and now it’s in your court to complete the cycle of love and forgiveness on Earth. When you take the plunge to let My love and forgiveness flow through you, Easter will be everywhere!

-I cannot explain-
It amazes me how there's nothing I have to do, but just receive Your love and let it in.
I want your forgiveness, I want a clean slate, I want healing of past wounds and I also need You to fill me with your love so that I can forgive others completely, without leaving any bits of it to use against them later.
I'm only dust, yet you made me Yours!
I'm not worthy, yet you payed for me with Your own life.
I'm nobody, yet you love me like I'm the only one in the world.
Nothing can describe Your love, can it?
For your undying, never ending, strong, passionate, perfect, unconditional, out of boundaries, supernatural, true love, I thank you.
I'd be nothing without you. I'd be so lost without you. There's such joy in knowing I don't have to spend a single moment of my life without You.
Nothing can compare to you, my Love. You save me anew every day, you love me anew every day, you renew your mercies toward me every day. Your love's so great I cannot explain.

And to top-off wonders, take a look at this!
You can see for yourself just what I mean, His love is there for you, and it's true, He won't ever leave you...The one thing you can trust that never will.

"Were closer than you thought they were"

2010-03-31T22:45:00.003-07:00

That's how I think this should be completed: ...you will discover love and happiness were closer than you thought they were.
But of course I'm by no means an authority on this subject.
I'm just a teen -winks-

What makes Megs amazing

2010-03-30T16:21:00.006-07:00

Meg loves with her whole heart -and she has a BIG heart.
She shows more interest in you than in herself.
She loves in a way that reaches beyond barriers and goes beyond expectations.
Meggy is a priceless friend, easy to confide in,
because you know she cares; she guards you and looks after you.

What I love and admire most about her
-besides her disposition to love and work for others even when it can get hard or annoying-
is how she continually fights to give life a smile,
whether or not life seems to be smiling at her in the first place.

There's just something really warm about Meg,
something really pretty about her japanese eyes and charm in her smile.
I love it how she's not ashamed
to be who she is.
Because look at her! She is wonderful as she is.

Oh and she's a crazy nut too!
-a happy one that makes you laugh
and puts your heart at its best.

I've told her she's like sunshine, like the warm, gentle sunshine of spring.
A soft, tender encourager that dries the unseen tears,
shares the light of a sweet smile and the ring of a carefree laugh.

I don't know too much about Meg, but this I've seen,
this she's been to me.

Happy Sweet 16 Meggy Megs of my heart!
The sky is no limit for what a girl like you can do.
You're cool, you're sweet, you're smart and sexy, being YOU makes you lovable to a T!
P.S. May your dreams come true...cause with Heaven as backup, they can!
-hugs you till your breathless:D- sorry -lets go-
Haha, I'm dying to see what this new awesome year will become for you!
That you are living makes this world a brighter place.

Rail tracks of life

2010-03-28T12:57:00.005-07:00

Life rides parallel rails of blessing and adversity.

I just loved this article so I had to re-post it~
“Why does life have to be a series of ups and downs?” one young woman put it. “Why can’t I just go from one mountaintop to another, from one up to an upper up?”
I understand her attitude, and I’ve shared it. The only difference is that I told myself, “I’m realistic enough to know you have to go down before you can go up again.” But I still kept looking for the peak experiences, even if I was willing to wait a bit.
But what if peaks and valleys aren’t the best way to describe life? What if God didn’t intend us just to endure down times so we could enjoy an occasional up?
Rick Warren, pastor and author of The Purpose-Driven Life, made an observation a couple of years ago that seems to describe the terrain of marriage. In a single year, his book reached the top of the bestseller lists and his wife was diagnosed with cancer. A mountaintop? A deep valley? Or something else?
“This past year has been the greatest year of my life,” wrote Rick, “but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys—you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth.
“I don’t believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it’s kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.”
For a train to make progress, it’s always in contact with both rails. Life rides parallel rails of blessing and adversity.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,” writes David in Psalm 23, “I will fear no evil, for You are with me.” This songwriter of the Bible is describing a comfort and relationship that emerges only in the difficult times. In fact, the closeness of that relationship develops in the difficult times.
Likewise, as we mature in life, we begin to notice that joy and difficulty aren’t either/or. They coexist constantly.
“No matter how good things are in your life,” writes Warren, “there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.”
So maybe the purpose of life isn’t about always looking for the next mountaintop.
Joy and difficulty are an odd combination, but much of life is lived seeking one and avoiding the other. I used to think they came one at a time, like alternating currents. Now I realize they’re both present, all the time.
I’m developing eyes to see both simultaneously.
On our honeymoon, Susan and I chose the wrong day to spend at Busch Gardens in Tampa Bay, Florida. Shortly after we paid our admission and entered the park, a tropical storm moved in and dumped more than four inches of rain on us.
Within minutes we were soaked. Normally, the idea of spending several hours in sopping wet pants, shirts plastered to our skin, and shoes squishing water with each step, is not my idea of a good time. It could have been a miserable day.
But I was with the woman I loved, and she was with me! We took photos of each other splashing through puddles with our stringy hair arranged in crazy ‘dos. That was the first time in our marriage that I realized joy and difficulty could coexist. But it wasn’t the last.
In fact, it was such moments of conjoined blessing and adversity that prepared us for more challenging times. When we gave birth to a daughter, Mandy, who was severely retarded, whose condition made her unable to sit up, hold her head erect, or use her hands to grasp, we were again put to the test to see if joy could coexist with adversity.
One night I sat in a hospital emergency room, where we’d been forced to take Mandy after an extended seizure. I couldn’t make sense of the extent of Mandy’s suffering.
I thought, I never realized someone could suffer so much.
When she died within two weeks of her second birthday, I didn’t think I’d ever be totally happy again. The depth of grief was indelible. I would never forget her difficult and way-too-brief life with us.
But as Susan and I experienced the help and kindness of Christian friends, we learned that joy was still there. We knew moments of joy even in the midst of the pain. We were deeply grateful, for instance, for Sarah, a respite worker the state provided to help care for Mandy. She became a dear friend, and we stayed in close contact even after Mandy’s death. Now, years later, Sarah is helping plan the wedding of our oldest daughter. It’s not a carefree mountaintop experience, because we recognize the grief from which it came, but it is most definitely joy.
As Rick Warren said: “No matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ-likeness.
“You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you’re going into self-centeredness, which is ‘my problem, my issues, my pain.’ But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.”
I’m glad that life isn’t just mountaintops and valleys, but that both joy and adversity are with us always. (Marshall Shelley is coauthor of Leadership Secrets of Billy Graham [Zondervan]. He and Susan have been married 23 years.)

Thanks to prayer

2010-03-27T23:11:00.005-07:00

Because you loved me, because you held me, because you prayed for me, I'm here.
I honestly don't know where I'd be right now without the prayers of my friends, loved ones and mom who I know continually prays for us her children.
If I'm alive it's thanks to you, if I'm happy it's thanks to you, if I'm progressing and learning from life it's thanks to you; because you believed in me, you loved me and you went the extra mile as to pray for me and put in God's power to work in my behalf. What can be greater than that?
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. -Jn.15:13
Thank you.

Jesus, you gave us such a beautiful world

2010-03-26T23:34:00.004-07:00

Help us to enjoy it

Persevere

2010-03-24T19:02:00.005-07:00

Perseverance is all about one step at a time, one moment at a time, one day at a time. Perseverance is refusal to give up. Even when you fall, you refuse to stay there. Even when you make a mistake, you refuse to let it hold you back. Even when you feel like a failure, you refuse to let it stop you. You get back up and try again. -Jesus

Honey a baby needs you

2010-03-19T13:42:00.006-07:00

Estie’s 2 day old baby nephew (William) is in a very serious condition. He has what is called Epidermolysis bullosa or also commonly known as the Butterfly disease. This sickness causes his skin to open up in blisters similar to a 3rd degree burn whenever any sort of friction (including touch) is applied to his skin.
So please, keep him in your prayers as many children don’t survive this disease because the pain is very severe and they can’t handle it, and the ones that do… well, this sickness is for life, which means the sores are for life.
Please, please, please pray that the Lord will do a miracle and completely heal her from this disease even though there is not a cure and nothing doctors can do, we have the best doctor in the whole universe!
But also, if it’s His will for this little baby boy to go back to his arms, that it will be very easy for Anim and her husband.
So please, I ask you to join this prayer chain and re-post this in your own blog and send it to your email contacts. United prayer has amazing power, so let’s do all we can to see this miracle through!
Anim and Ez, we will be praying for you! Keep on going strong for the Lord, when we are weak, it is then that HE is strong and through him NOTHING is impossible! The Lord knows what’s best, and I know it will all work out in the end! We love you! -by Windy

More mistakes

2010-03-18T15:06:00.009-07:00

Most of us hate mistakes -wholeheartedly! The thought of being wrong, of blowing it again.
Yet I was remembering, while I sat on a green sofa with all intentions to study for my coming Philosophy test, how many people who have lived life fully become pretty carefree. There was a man who once said: "If I could live again, I'd try to make more mistakes (Here you have my wide eyes). I'd relax more. I'd climb more mountains. Swim across more rivers. Pick more daisies. I'd suffer more real problems and less imaginary ones."
I realize I am afraid of making mistakes, the big ones that you can't fix. Or the little stupid ones that mess up things and ruin them. Then I think, "thank God that my decisions or bad decisions at that, don't affect so many others; thank God that I don't have big responsibilities hinging on the outcome of those. It'd be very different if I had kids to look after for instance..."
I feel it's safer to make mistakes now, because I don't have heavy responsibilities. But I think I'll spend all of my life learning that mistakes are good for me, cause if not, how would you have me learn?
The man's name was Don Herold, and he wanted to make more mistakes.
I guess he wanted to learn more -from them.

Secret place

2010-03-14T09:08:00.003-07:00

Jesus, You’re the secret place I run
to in my mind when I want to hide
from the world. No matter what’s
coming at me, or who is waiting on me,
or what circumstances or problems I’m
facing, I can close my eyes and enter
into that secret room with You. With
a touch of Your hand and a whisper of
Your words to my heart, You set everything
aright and give me grace to face the
world again.

At starbucks

2010-03-13T20:53:00.005-08:00

Friday, Jesse, Sandy and I went for coffee at a heavenly little nook of a place called appropriately: "heavenly Starbucks".
Got so terribly full with the frapuccinos and I couldn't even resist the temptation of stealing sips from the others as well. I could hardly move at the end.
We did what we do best, talk and laugh at old nonsense! -Enjoying the yumminess was a wonderful plus.
Few things are easier than being myself with friends as amazing as they, knowing they accept me and love me just as I am. Even if I laugh real suddenly and loud or say the most unusual things -grins-.

I love this quote:
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind." -Dr. Seuss
And, "To be yourself in a world that is continually trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." -Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I love you! -Just had to say that.

Joy in Self-forgetfulness

2010-03-11T20:56:00.008-08:00

Helen Keller, who was deaf and blind since childhood, said:

"Is it not true that my life, with all its limitations, touches at many points the beauty in life? Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn whatever state I may be in, therein to be content. Sometimes, it is true, a sense of isolation enfolds me like a cold mist as I sit alone and wait at life's shut gate. Beyond there is light and music and sweet companionship, but I may not enter. ... Silence sits immense upon my soul.
"Then comes Hope with a smile and whispers, 'There is joy in self-forgetfulness.' So I try to make the light in others' eyes my sun, the music in others' ears my symphony, the smile on others' lips my happiness."

At times what helps me gain perspective when I'm mad, sad or disheartened is to think of others who have it a lot worse than I do. And yet, they still get up in the morning, they still shine on life with their smiles, they keep trying and making the most of what life gave to them. There are those people, and I want to be one of them.
History has shown, that those with seeming lacks, physical hindrances or limitations, at great odds or with big difficulties, overcame. It didn't matter what it was.
Helen Keller, Fanny Crosby, Isaac Watts, Renoir, the apostle Paul are a few names I can think of.
They each learned to be content with what God had given them, and yet they weren't complacent. They went beyond what the world thought they could do, and even jumped outside the limitations they had placed on themselves.
I know achieving contentment in life is hard, but if there's people who can, then I can too. Their lives are a living testimony to it, even if it's passed.
And I have it so much better.
Why not do it and strive to be content in "whatsoever state I'm in"? It's doable, and I have every reason to do it cause my life will be better as a result, even if it's tough.
Today I heard: "If it's not worth fighting for, maybe it's not worth attaining".
It didn't have any relevance to this, except it showed me how worthwhile things have a price and must be fought for. Being content in life is worth it to me. Help me Jesus.
I toast to Helen Keller, to blindness and to sight, to sickness and health, to rich and poor, to hard times and happy times, to simplicity. And to having our eyes open to how beautiful life is, as rough as it is, it's still worth fighting for!

The donut

2010-03-10T21:05:00.005-08:00

Thank you for the donut, Jesus

I trust that the hole is there for a reason...

Today I enjoyed

2010-03-09T20:50:00.005-08:00

*picking up a fallen pretty flower off the sidewalk
*a walk in the sun
*the smiles of my friends
*the drive on public transport to school
*smiling
*Dropping by for a few minutes to hug my best friend.
*playing basketball with people of all ages. Full court! :P
*Eating some crackers found in my bag :D
*Laughed with Sandy at how hilarious we looked on the webcam, and the funny faces!
*A creatively and lovingly prepared lunch by mom.
*Eating a crep for dinner, with spread peanut butter, gridded pecans. and piloncillo syrup on top; plus a green apple, a banana and half a cup of milk -grins-
*Hugging my family, Susie, Sandy and uncle Solomon as many times as I did.
*Chatting with an old dear friend.
*Taking a beautiful, refreshing shower.
*Texting a new friend.
*Singing in the car
*Praising God that I'm not the only crazy one on this planet
*Looking forward to going out to starbucks with close friends, and enjoying it!
-I'm serious, I'm dreaming with that latte.
*Drinking water when I was thirsty
*Laughing at how dogs tend to look like their masters.
*Changing into mini-shorts and a T shirt in the middle of the day and its heat.
*The smiles of my mom and dad
*Adrian's searching after my opinion of his drawings.
*Reading in bed.
*Taking a glimpse at the starry night.
*Having Nina look ultra cute wearing my hat and makeup (which I begrudgingly lent her)
*Looking through the sweetest, simply cutest scrapbook a friend could put together for you, and reading her note.
*Getting counsel from a friend.
*Reading God's promises.

Oh do this when you feel you've just had an ordinary day!

Winds

2010-03-09T14:28:00.004-08:00

Happy 16th Birthday!
W- Wonderful
I- Intelligent
N- Naturally beautiful
D- Dynamic
Y- Youthful
That's Winds!

Him

2010-03-06T23:23:00.005-08:00

I love the feeling of being alone with Him.
I love the feeling of being in love with Him.
I love the feeling that I can rely on Him

Happy Birthday to my wonder of a friend!

2010-03-06T10:16:00.010-08:00

Nalies oh Nalies! Happy Birthdaay!!
I'm so thankful to know you, to share in the treasure that you are.
As this new year dawns I wish you the best of gift laden for you all throughout the path ahead of you! Someone like you can be happy no matter what, can succeed no matter what, can make something beautiful and worthwhile out of her life no matter what happens in it, because you love Jesus, you have a heart of gold and the strength in Him to do whatever you like in life! You're awesome like that.
You can change lives, you can affect them for the better -like you did mine-, you can love and live on in everyone's hearts, starting a chain reaction of love that keeps on multiplying. The love you give is strong enough to reach through lands and oceans, to keep in touch with old, new friends and loves and to keep reaching out (hugs you so very tightly)
If something can describe you Nalies it'd be true friend. Anyone who knows Nalies has luck on their side, will be filled with love and appreciation and will be happy to be with such a marvelous, unique, simple, funny, lovely, crazy, sweet person as her! She's just, Nalies.